Ice Creams

Maggie Beer frustrates me with her party ice-cream recipe but Simon Bryant gave me an idea of a homemade ice cream waffle cone *yay*

I've started packing today. Tomorrow we'll look out for more boxes.

*also to call Makcha tonite and update her about my pulut kuning. it turned out all right =)*

Jitters

Keith Fechner is one of Australia's oldest baker around. A German-Australian, he produces a wide range of bread daily starting at 4am everyday baking with his wooden-scotch oven. He's 84 years old.
Australia has the best wheat to produce 'udon' noodles. They're exporting these Japanese traditional noodles to Japan now.

*i'm so nervous i could hardly taste what i had for dinner tonite. wish me luck tomorrow!*

Dream

Few years back in 2004, when I was back in Italy, we went to this restaurant in Milan and had 'bombas'. It's tiny balls of pizzas about the size of tennis balls wrapped in pizza dough. We had kiddie sized it because the amount they serve back there is huge! Spizzico was our favourite joint in Milan but they don't serve bombas or calzones, because their open pizzas are great! Yes, pizzas and pastas were our main dish when we were there.

They say if you love to travel, you'll love food. Or vice versa. For us, it's smack down true. Pastas are the easiest ever food anyone can make. Either white sauce or red. You can have it green or orange too. It won't be long before I try making my own pasta noodles. Only recently I found a recipe for bombas but it seemed different to the ones I had. I shall give it a try once we move out and get a proper kitchen. It was there I learnt about hens and eggs, how to cook them properly (the eggs i mean), and about meat. Contrary to popular beliefs (especially in the US and Aust now), spring lamb is tender but not as full of flavour as autumn lamb. Papa enjoyed talking to the butchers there.

Like Papa, I wish I can get hold of some animals and farm them to consumption. He farmed cows once upon a time ago and I don't remember if they are still there or has he sold them all off. Maybe when I earn a bit more and settled down properly, I'll get a couple of hens for their eggs. My uncle (Encik) used to farm lambs, chickens, pheasants and I remember he has a couple of peacocks just for show. Oh there are ducks and geese too. His backyard is enormous, hilly and green. I think he was inspired while living in New Zealand. And plus he's a veterinarian too. But no, I don't wish to farm that much. A couple of hens will do for me. And a small land for my herbs and greeneries. Also a few small logs for growing edible mushrooms. If he's creative and diligent enough, I'll let him build me an outdoor oven. No, not buy. Build. With our own bare hands. That'll do.

My dream way of living.

Fly Away with Me

So it's that time of the year again. Once again, this ending of the year and opening of the new year I'd be flying off here and there. Luckily it wouldn't be as much as the last. There'd be few new places and long-timed faces to meet. And the best part is, instead of travelling single like most of the years, I'll have company this year. We even have a small holiday together. I call it our 'pre-honeymoon'. Like an engagement honeymoon. That sounds nice. So if I didn't get a honeymoon after the wedding (we've yet to decide about this), I wouldn't be disappointed =)

*thank you, b*

I've been doing some shopping-frenzy lately. So many things to buy, so much to do. Now that we've confirmed our plans, there are a list of things to do before our pre-honeymoon. It's a good thing we've a date. Now I can calculate how much longer I have to put up with a dirty kitchen, and when to get out of here. Thinking about it, it's not too bad actually. Not much longer. Still, I can't wait! =) Oh Syar and I share the same ideas about dishes. We hate them so when we cook, we either wash them up straight away after use or we use as little pots and pans we can. That's why we don't mind doing our own dishes. But not others. And we can't stand leftover food and dirty dishes lying around. Feels good venting out to you, Syar. A good lending ear. Thank you.

The deep sour apple pie turned out to be good. But it still isn't the kind of pie I was looking for. Aunty Bedah taught us to make murtabak from spring rolls sheets. I'm not so sure how ours will turn out, though. My handphone's still crazy. Maybe it's a sign to get a new one, eh b. I said, just maybe =)

Over the weekend I tried on a Thai pumpkin curry. Poor thing my baby doesn't like pumpkin so I put in other seafood and mushrooms. It was good, eh. Then sometime before that I made kedgeree with salmon. I still haven't tried pulut kuning. Makcha called the other day asking how mine went, and when I told her I haven't tried yet, she went ballistic. I've heard her like that so many times before that it sounds like music to my ears now. It's pretty funny too. And I love her when she does that. It makes her more motherly to me. This year I realize that I'm missing her much more than before. I talk about her more, I call her more often. And I can't wait for us to spend time with her, b. She amuses me everytime.

Crazy Handphone

Yesterday when I woke up and he had gone to work, I realized my handphone is going nuts. So trying hard not to think or fondle it too much, I put on my robe and marched to the kitchen for a peek (yes, I peek first). No leftovers or dirty pots and pans lying nearby. Luckily it was bearable enough for today's project, Ainsley's deep sour apple pie. Good thing it only requires a food processor, kitchen bench and oven. Stove is dirty and oily but for this project, I don't need to use that area.

By the time I finished, it is still a bit whacko. I tried at my best of knowledge and little experience to fix it. After half an hour later, I gave up. Once again, I head to the kitchen to fix dinner. Stacked off all the dishes away to start doing my dishes after cooking, it beeped. I let it be. Then while cleaning up (the area of the one and only stove I used), it beeped again. I knew someone's trying to get to me. Hours later, after dinner, papa called. He's been trying to get to me hours ago and unfortunately I didn't get any of his calls nor voice mails. Not even SMS.

It's official, my handphone has gone haywire. Sigh.

Tickets

I feel much much better now that we've bought our tickets and confirmed our plans. It really was a spur of the moment thing. The last time I went on an on-the-spot trip was with Jules and Izmia. We bought the next ticket out and had only hours to pack. Without plans, without any idea where to stay, what to eat or where to go. Heck, neither of us ever been there! And til today, we still talk about the trip in our daily conversation. It was great.

All I've to do now is count the days =) can't wait!!

Exams

To those busy preparing for exams. Best of luck!

9th month

Now I remember what we did on our 8-month anniversary. We went Mapo!

Today I tried making kedgeree with fresh fish stock for brunch. We were supposed to go to the floral exhibition park but it is darn hot hot hot today. Instead, we'll go out for dinner as we usually do.

I asked before we got engaged if we will be able to go out clubbing after we get married. His answer is yes. And still is. Since we got engaged, I can count with my fingers the times we went. I'm not entirely sure how it got from then to now. Perhaps I grew out of it. Or it's him filling up my time with better things to do. So few days ago after a long while, a number of friends and us went out but instead of hanging out til late, we headed home not long after the crowd started filling in the club. I guess it's no longer a thing for us. It no longer seem exciting to us anymore. Our activities doesn't seem to surround what's hip to do among our friends or of what's the talk of the town about. Our interest shifted to activities that can be enjoyed together or what we both like to do. Hanging out with friends till wee hours in the morning slowly became something of 'been there, done that', nothing to be impressed about or a 'want-to-do' anymore. Sure we love hanging out with good friends for few hours in the day or at night but there will always be a night-cap just for the two of us alone, enjoying each other's company.

So perhaps this is what lifetime companion is about. Without notice, he becomes my best friend. No longer just a person whom I rely on or be relied of. No more just someone anticipating expectations of, or responsibilities to. No longer just the person who is there and will be there through my ups and down. No longer just my other shadow or just my better half. He is also the person I share my boredom hours, my night and day. So we hear people saying they cannot stand being together or of each other's company for more than 4 days, they need to get away from each other for a bit. I hope that doesn't happen to us, b. I hope I will always miss and wish you're here with me whenever we're apart. I hope you will always have that big smile on your face like when you feel so glad to see me, like the one you always have whenever you see me everyday after you return from work. I wondered myself long ago, what would it be like 30 (i once spontaneously asked if he'd live with me for the next 30 years, he said, make it 50 =) to 50 years from now if I'm still alive, will I be able to enjoy spending time and lazy days with him. Would we be able to enjoy each other's company together.

I hope we will.
I sure hope so too.

Happy 9-months Anniversary, b.

Pulut Kuning

I knew if I call mama she'd come up with a long, weary, but traditional way of making pulut kuning. And I was right. In fact, bibik happened to make good pulut kuning recently. Luckily, I have a second mother, Makcha (whom never fails to make me laugh heartily every time we talk). She gave me the instant way. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore the traditional way and intend to keep it going throughout my generation. But this time I'm only making for two and it'll be my first time so this is the way to go.

Good luck to me!

Brothers

Suci just called asking us to take a look at her brother. He has not been sleeping and had blacked out. I'm waiting for him to get off the phone with Abg Yusry so I can call him and tell him we're coming over now.

Sigh.
Brothers.

Go Crazy with Creativity

Thanks to my beloved, years back (yes, when he was flirtatious and working his charm =) and I was young and couldn't care less), he handed me his comic collections of Neil Gaiman (which he bought and collected religiously, while living in the UK) and one of them I remember reading over and over again is today's new movie, Stardust. Of course at the time I used a lot of my imagination with the help of those little comic illustrations, but it was really good. Almost to nothing compared to the movie is today. Watching it, I thought to myself, I prefer my own imagination. So I vow (like I had always done) not to watch movies I've read before anymore. But I can't help making comparisons. Like how I compared Disneyworld to Euro Disney and Europa Park when I was a kid (and got into a huge kiddie argument with my cousin, Shareena who lived there at the time). Floriade in Amsterdam to Sydney's. Maybe that's why I'm not so much of a movie buff. It spoils my imagination.

On the way home we talked about work. He said work will never be enjoyable, because it is work. It's exciting the beginning few months, then it becomes a routine. I've always thought with 8 working hours 5 times a week, most of my life would be about and of work. So if I don't enjoy work, then I won't enjoy life. Bill Grainger said, "I'm not a person who if work was boring or anything was not working, I would just keep on doing it." Brought me to thinking, it doesn't have to be boring. Or anything. It's just opportunities. If you think about it, then it becomes something.

We had a late night snack at The Coffee Club. John Torode made a point. It's next to shame of what's coming up from Britain and Europe. Pretty much the same menu wherever you go here. But I've only been to few places in Australia. Not my place to judge. As far I'm concerned, Adelaide's pretty much same ol same.

Guess what. The Hairy Biker's Ride Again cookbook came up as one of the top ten! Oh dear. At the meantime, what I enjoy most is cooking. How long it'll last, I don't know. Maybe it'll wear off at some time, maybe it won't. All I know, right now, I'm enjoying it for what it is. Lufee asked why I haven't been baking lately. To be honest, I'm pretty disgusted to bake/cook. I'd rather dine out. The ants are coming up to the kitchen bench and stove now. They said, it's summer coming. Summer came and left when we first arrived here and no ants crawled everywhere. I think because of all the leftover food left on the tables and counter, and not wiping the counter after each use. When I used to bake earlier, I wipe the kitchen bench every time. First the ants came up to the table in front of the tv, where food and dishes were left there for days sometimes, and now it's coming up to the kitchen and stove. We've stopped cleaning up after them. I'm starting to feel we're being taken for granted. And I absolutely, absolutely hate that feeling. Garbage hasn't been thrown out for a week now. We've done our 2-weeks agreement. We're done. I've taken my flour and baking goodies into the cabinet again. We had an agreement, but I guess we're not keeping to it. I'm sick of making excuses to him. I'm sorry baby, I didn't know when I asked you to move in with them, you signed up a contract living with filth. I really didn't know.

*i do hate this feeling. absolutely hate this feeling*

Smile

have you smiled a small smile..
the kinda smile that you don't notice til few seconds later.
then when you realize you're smiling, it stretches to a wider smile.
infectious.

that moment just happened a while ago.
thank you, suc for making it happen today.

the answer is, yes.

Signs

So she called late at night,
asking "why can't I be alone, why it doesn't feel right"
and I said, hush now beloved friend,
because we are human, we need each other til the end.

She said he had a dream last nigt. About her getting married to someone else and he ended up cheating on her with her colleague. So she worry herself sick if that dream's a sign for them.

That's the thing with signs.
I believe signs to be God's way telling us things.
I also believe signs are incidental.
Sometimes I follow them. Sometimes I don't.
Other times I don't notice them, other times I leave them be.
Often I find myself picking them up, then I putting them back down again.
I don't live my life ruled entirely by them.
I don't take everything as a sign and live according to them.
Because I also believe that that would drive me insane.

Let me get hurt sometimes,
and crash to the ground,
cry a little, and die just a little.
To make me grateful for the little I have,
and cherish the small I encounter.
Make me treasure the pleasure,
and endure the pain.

However..
that's how I live my life to be.
Also because simplicity is a desirable word for me.

Into the wild

Oh it's a mystery to me.
We have a greed, with which we have agreed...
and you think you have to want more than you need...
until you have it all, you won't be free.

Society, you're a crazy breed.
I hope you're not lonely, without me.
When you want more than you have, you think you need...
and when you think more than you want, your thoughts begin to bleed.
I think I need to find a bigger place...
cause when you have more than you think, you need more space.

Society, you're a crazy breed.
I hope you're not lonely, without me.
Society, crazy indeed...
I hope you're not lonely, without me.

There's those thinkin' more or less, less is more,
but if less is more, how you keepin' score?
It means for every point you make,
your level drops.
Kinda like you're startin' from the top...
and you can't do that.

Society, you're a crazy breed.
I hope you're not lonely, without me.

Society, crazy indeed...
I hope you're not lonely, without me

Society, have mercy on me.
I hope you're not angry, if I disagree.

Society, crazy indeed.
I hope you're not lonely...without me.

So we are a crazy breed. Crazy indeed.

She goes..

"i know it's hard to forgive, and harder to forget.."
it is.
but i still miss you.

Raya

It felt so so good to the eyes seeing the kitchen spotless this morning. Aida and Hamdi slept over, maybe that's why. So we are in a good mood this morning. He was really hungry when he got up and I was so reluctant to go heat up food knowing how messy it'll be upstairs. But for the first time, we're impressed. Thank you.

Our raya was the best this year since celebrating without family. We had our friends over and hung out til almost 6pm. I wasted my time and energy worrying about them not eating rendang, kerutuk, lemang and ketupat. They loved it. I made BBQ and salads, just in case they can't handle our traditional food. And guess what, we ended up eating the BBQs as leftovers today. The rendang, kerutuk, ketupat and lemang? All gone. I managed only to 2 bites and he had one serving. Just before the last guest left, there's just enough for her to pack for Rachel (she was too tired to come from work). I love looking at Paul, Renae and Mike (although he just came back from the dentist for filling, i hope you didn't chip your tooth filling) especially, digging into our rendang and kerutuk. They even love the lemang! Hard to imagine, eh? Australians are a good breed. Well, at least our friends are. Then again, like us, they've been all over the world. They're all good travelers. Except Kate, she's vegetarian but she had helpings of lemangs, ketupat and kuah kacang (and yes Kate, the kuah kacang at the restaurants here are not what it is). I thought the kuah kacang would be too much for them to handle since it was rather spicy. Well, Rex looked a bit red but that didn't stop him from another helping. We brought our milk down to the table but no one touched it and I only used it with fondue. The rest of them are all good eaters. Sometimes I wonder if they're just saying it, or really the food was good. He said, judging from how they eat, and helpings they had, it's not hard to see. We managed to save some muffin-cakes (on his request) for us. Sorry Kate, I hope your dream of them last night lets you eat them as well. These people are high on our list the next time we entertain.

We hurried to Aunty Bedah's house after we cleaned up and with dear Lufee's help (thank you so much dear for helping us clean and sending us off), we managed to get there in time. We managed to take some ketupat for her and few ketupat palas (I purposely saved some upstairs for her). I honestly thought we'd manage to bring some rendang n kerutuk for her. Sorry aunty, next time maybe on raya haji. She made briyani and has rendang of her own. As usual, the best. Yummy. He had several helpings (well actually he polished them off) and I had twice. We met Aunty Dilla and her kids there. They live in Port Pirie.

I am impressed with Hamdi making tofee, traditionally. Boiling condensed milk from the can for hours. Mom would love this guy. Just how she loves my baby when I told her he made masak lemak cili api from looking at her making it last time she was around. Fresh and from scratch. I remember reading somewhere from one of chef books either Gordon Ramsay or Keith Floyd of another method making toffee, something like using fresh milk and boiling them with sugar. Can't quite recall. I should find it again and tell him about it. I made toffee candy once but not the creamy version.

So that's how our raya this year went. Lots of friends and luxurious food. Love it. This morning, after brunch, he played his guitar. While I browsed through my food mags. And I wonder, what more could I ask for for a relaxing Sunday.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!

p/s: b, you were great entertaining yesterday and your hospitality was excellent. i couldn't have done it without you. i am lucky to have you. very.

Raya Eve

He told me million times to give up on the plants and promise we'll get good ones when we move out. I'm still hanging on to them, watering everyday. It's time to let go now actually. Except for the parsley. They seem pretty allright. After the arrival of mama and papa last August, I've left the plants for more than a week without care. Poor thing.

Tomorrow is the big day. Made kerutuk daging and mom's rendang ayam raisins last night. Today I'll prepare the ketupat, lemang, ketupat palas, marinate my BBQ chicken, prepare salad and cake for dessert. Tomorrow morning after he leaves for raya prayers, I can finish off with the rest.

So this will be our first raya together, and the first time we entertain at home. Usually we either do it some where else or I cook and bring food to our guest's house. We try not to do at home, or at night, disturbing others. Or make huge mess in the kitchen (not that we ever do, he always cleans after we cook. Yes, always. Every time regardless when he's tired, busy or whatever the reasons are. That's probably why we get annoyed, sometimes) We'd rather entertain out than in. At times like these, I miss Meen. She always cleans after meals. And Suci, who mops all the time. They don't put food out, leftovers are always in the fridge. Dining table are always empty. I do miss our days in the kitchen in Cardwell. Our kitchen is always clean and Meen will have us all spring cleaning every 2 weeks. I'll have to say they're probably the best housemates ever lived with. That alone just show responsibilities and respect. I may loathe doing dishes, but I do mind living in them. So I do them, anyway. So other people in the house can use the pots and pans that we share comfortably (i know you don't like it when i do others b, but sometimes really, i can't stand it, overnight, fine, i'll live with that, but for days?) You're brought up in certain ways. Not minding who does dishes. I was brought up never to do anything. Literally, (so what, we'ver got maids to do them). But when living with others, I learn. I make mess, I clean. I eat, I clean. It's all a part of what mama and papa nags about. Responsibility and shame. So yeah, I can say. Though they spoil all three of us rotten, they brought us up well.

Adrian left yesterday and he msg-ed me on gmail saying how much he's suffering. Poor thing. So I thought to myself, what it'll be like leaving him behind. Yea, we've done and survived long distance before so what's a month or two being apart, eh? Sigh. I think I'll have a kid before that happens. To keep my mind off him and keep me on my toes. We'll see.

Believe it or not (i still can't), some where, some time, in my puny life, I've learned and made my own baju kurung. No, unfortunately I don't believe I've inherited mama's talented-crafty sewing hands. I just got curious. So that baju kurung is still in my wardrobe in Msia. I'm not sure when I'll be able to wear them again.

My curiosity does led me doing funny things, I believe. I organized and designed Makcha's wedding (it was so tiring but so so very very very satisfying). I had a burial for a monkey papa shot from stealing our rambutans in our backyard and took out all the rambutans in his mouth to know how many rambutans he could fit in his mouth. More than 20. And he had 7-8 bullets all over his body and 2 in the head. I can still remember how he looks like. His body was still warm. I entered a shooting competition (yes, with M16 rifles) and came out the first female sharp-shooter, and yes I think I got this from papa (i hope the trophy's still in Phg). I became a sargeant once and led a platoon for 'gerak tempur' some time back in high school (looooong ago). I entered a swimming competition not that I'm passionate about swimming, it was just hot and got 2nd place. I brought home a kid from the streets once because she said she's never been swimming. To see the look she had when she saw the pool, was so worth it. I took out my piggy bank money to treat some kids at school canteen because they said they didn't have money (today, i'm glad i did that because they really don't. i went to a primary-school with orang asli and very poor ppl. but when my parents found out about it, they were not very keen of the idea that time) I remember treating this 6 yr-old girl at recess a 20cents keropok because her older brother's a sissy. I thought she must be having a hard time with him.

Sharm's on her way. Gotta give her presents. Happy Hari Raya, people!

Known Better

I should have known. It's another drama created.
Something that should have been dealt with rationale, can become such a big thing when you leave it to her. And there she goes blaming everyone else.
*sigh*

Aching Heart

Woke up this morning to the news.
He has always had problems handling money. Ever since high school. Why is he not listening to you. Why does he need so much money. Why is there never enough what we give him. And why is everyone so soft around him.

Makcha clearly has been influenced by her by the time I call her.

The raya parcel has arrived yesterday.
I was excited to see 'Ketupat Palas'. It's good. All good.

Tagged!!

Okay you know that I don't usually do this. But I really can't go to bed right now. My tummy is still working hard digesting tonight's iftaar =p yes, if you must know, I stuffed myself well today. Thank you very much *sigh*

five things in my handbag
Unfortunately, I never got the hang of carrying a handbag often. At least not until I got my white-brown bag from Charlie Brown in Sydney and only because it's large enough to fit most my things in it. Even that doesn't go with me everywhere I go. So where do I keep my things? In the convenient pockets of my jeans or if I go out with him (he often carries a backpack), I stuff my things in his bag. Nevertheless, if I carry one these are the top five things in it.
1. my purse or most times I go out with just a credit/debit card and driving license stuffed in the back pocket of my jeans (which can make me frantically searching which jeans I left them in)
2. my handphone (sometimes it goes in my pocket, too)
3. iPod (never leave home without)
4. lip balm
5. palm-sized notebook

five things in my purse
1. my driving license
2. cash (I'm not sure if I can put this here. Most of my change is in the front pocket of my jeans together with crumpled notes)
3. ATM card and other credit cards
4. a number pictures of him
5. privilege cards

five favourite things in my bedroom
1. my library of food books/magazines
2. tv
3. our engagement picture
4. bean bag
5. guitar

five things i wish, would like, love to do
1. embark on my next journey
2. travel
3. get a feline friend
4. move in a place of our own
5. get the wedding preparations and ceremony over and done with

five things i'm doing right now
1. trying to sit up straight as long as I can to manage the tummy discomfort
2. thinking of my love ones in msia
3. planning raya
4. looking at him concentrating and working hard on his work
5. glimpsing occasionally at the tv

five people i'd like to tag
Like I said, I don't normally do these things and won't bother tagging other people doing it. Unless you've nothing else to do and wouldn't mind doing it, go ahead =)

Nitey nite!

Food

Menu for iftaar today:
Matthew Drennan's Chicken and Tiger Prawn Laksa. Only I didn't use tiger prawns, but replace them with banana prawns. And of course his version of laksa is nothing like the ever delicious laksa back home. Instead, it tastes more or so like creamy-tomyam-yellow-curry. Back home, our version of laksa would always be either the hot and sour (asam laksa) or the fishy flaky type. And of course the meat varies from chicken, beef, seafood, but the soup remains similar to one another. I am not a big fan of laksa but if I were to choose, laksa Pahang is top in my list. Especially when the noodles are homemade. The best thing about laksa Pahang is that you have to eat them with hands. Nothing beats that! (Makcik Leha makes the best laksa Pahang ever! And she makes them all herself including the noodles *yum*) It hurts just thinking about it.. sigh..

We bought a cheap food processor few weeks ago but I've yet try making anything with it. It's still in the box waiting to be unwrapped. That's the thing about Ramadhan here. There's less recipes to try. I should try making Ainsley's mayo for starters.

Usually our menu for iftaar or meal comes from him. Daily I'd ask what he wants for iftaar/dinner. The best part is when he asks for something that I've never tried before. Or when I've had too much meat then I wouldn't ask what he wants. Instead, I'll make salads or light meals from the library of food mags I collected throughout the years I spent here. Or we'd dig our heads inside our huge box of 'perencahs' and try to make use of them. I can't wait to finish them all. Next year, when we move into our own home, I'll get people to come over every other night and make them meals from the perencahs. A good way to finish the stock up. By then, I hope I've talked good sense to Papa and Mama not to send in anymore stock *cross fingers they'll listen* or I'll have to open a shop here and sell them all off.

Back home, every fast breaking time, Papa would ask me to make him 'Jemput Udang' (prawn fritters). And to him, only I know how to make them the way he likes them to be. Yesterday I made some for iftaar and I've forgotten how long it had been since the last time I made them for papa. Adik always gets 'roti jala' for his iftaar while abang scorfs down 'murtabak'. I get excited everytime the menu is noodles instead of rice. Anything besides rice, would pull me to the seat faster, those days.

Oh he's back! I've to warm up food now.
Happy Iftaar, ppl!

Companion

We so take people we love for granted. Just look at how we treat our parents. I think we can never fully repay them for what they have sacrificed and given us. Hence in this entry today, I'm gonna list down reasons why I love him so when I feel down or lonely, this will give me a good kick of reminder how lucky I am to have him. Thank you God for giving me this man to share the rest of my life with as a companion. My lifetime companion.

Top 27 reasons why I love him
1. I really have to thank God for giving me a man that is clean and cleans. I am such a messy person (have I mentioned how much I loathe doing dishes?), I embarass the nation. Once I told Adrian this and he goes, 'what nation? M'sia?' hehe.
2. There is never a thing as 'mine' or 'yours' in his vocabulary. It is and always have been 'ours'. And that, includes finances. *lucky, lucky me* =)
3. Oh and like papa, he splurges on me. He really can. But I sometimes have to beg him to let me buy him stuff . *weird, eh?*
4. Unlike me, he takes much longer to warm up and trust people. At times, (and with the kinda work I do) I think it is because I am easier, he gets cautious and takes longer. Sometimes waaaaaaayy too long, with certain people.
5. He is responsible and takes responsibility. Y'know the kind that's like, 'I used it, I wash it. I did it, I'm responsible for it.'
6. He makes hearty, rich chicken soup with love (as he calls it) when I get bad cramps. Only those who lives and have lived with me know how bad my cramps are everytime, on the first day.
7. Just like papa, he spoils me rotten sometimes.
8. He has no idea how smart he is. At times, really, I have to thank God! =)
9. I'm not sure if he got it from me, but we sure do have this love and curiousity for cooking.
10. We both love travelling. I do not know how I'd live with someone without.
11. He has absolutely no idea how much I love him =)
12. We both regard education at the highest of importance. Again, just like papa.
13. He stays home with me when I get bad cramps. Sometimes I think he likes spoiling me. But who's complaining? *wink wink*
14. He puts up with all my PMS crap. Exactly! I've no idea how he does it, either!
15. We've been together for more than 5 years. He knows me since I was rebellious, immature and oh such a bratty little girl. He knows all my dark, whacky, cuckoo side. And still loves me the same, if not more.
16. He has only, really, made me cry once. And that's not even something he did or can help it.
17. When we fight and I apologise first (which is something I rarely do, are you kidding? with my huge ego?) he would always say he's sorry too. Even when it's really, crystal clear, my fault. As if he can't stand it if I say I'm sorry by myself.
18. It only takes 2 seconds after we argue for us to laugh and make fun of the argument.
19. He has 1001 facial expressions that only I know of.
20. After years of learning psychology, he only took me 2 minutes to understand how powerful the mind is. If you want drama in your life, go ahead, you have the power to create or go without it. With the family, friends, and kind of work I do, trust me, I don't need any more dramas. They colour my world as it is, enough.
21. He reads my mind like a diary. It's so true sometimes it scares me.
22. Just to see a glimpse of him makes me smile. Everytime.
23. He pulls me back down to the ground everytime I get too high in the sky.
24. He plans and creates, sensibly.
25. He plays guitar beautifully. my heart will go on.......
26. He never fails to make me laugh and melts my heart. what can i say..? =)
27. He looks at me everyday - that way.

This list just comes off the top of my head, hence the odd number 27. I can go on, of course, but I think this is enough to make me remember.

Today, just like every day on my bad-cramp day, he stayed home from work and made me his chicken soup. Eventhough he's fasting today. You see how lucky I am? I must've done something good in my life to deserve all this. I must have. This is all the guilt, talking.

I have a feeling that this may be how it feels like during contractions. Only a hell lot worse. To all mommies out there (and that includes my beloved mama), if this is a minuscule to what you experience, just for today, only today, at this minuscule pain, I adore your strength, love, courage and pain.

Owwww.. it hurts..

Raya Goodies

It's good to see Kate and James again. She looks healthy and bubbly. I really hope she's very happy now. She writes, sings and plays her own songs. That is one ability that I will always, always envy her.

No matter how many times I told papa not to send in anything for raya, he called today to tell me he had sent off 5kg worth of raya stuff. 5kg!? Yes, he spoils me rotten. Papa will be papa. No matter what you/I say.

I came across a long time friend, my senior in high school. She has a twin and the older twin has passed away 2 years ago. I've no idea until today. No wonder they've been so quiet. I received an invitation to the younger twin's engagement ceremony several months back but unable to attend and asked her how her other twin is doing. I had no idea. She's struggling hard, now especially. Poor thing. I hope she gathers enough strength to get by everyday everytime it gets tough for her. *amin*

We couldn't attend Syar and Geoff's 'fast-breaking' tonight and instead managed to quickly whip up 'nasi dagang' for our iftaar. I wish I can make pulut kuning some time. Pulut kuning and rendang ayam *yummy*

*i hate it when we fight about the state of the kitchen.. absolutely*

Decisions.. decisions..

My mind is set.
I've made my decision.

I shall not turn or look back again.

papa sounded very happy

People

Have you ever met a person who talks just to make him/herself sound/look smart or rather, to show that they know a lot but really they've no idea at all? Yes, that Mr/Ms Know-It-All. Sometimes they create facts to make it sound interesting.

Funny that it actually backfires.
Stop embarrasing yourselves.

If you've nothing to say, don't say anything.
How people are afraid of silence.
Anyway, talk about the weather instead.
That always work =)