March? Already?

oh dear.. what had happened?

Our first year engagement anniv brought us to our new lovely home. (yes.. it has been a year =)

13th months anniv was at home with Uncle Bruhan and family. We had them over and celebrated with dinner + desert (nasi ayam yum). I must admit, that week and the week prior was hectic. It ended with the girls sleeping over for nearly a week with us! Glad it's all over now. We managed to get them around SA and drove around surrounding areas. With work grant due very soon at the time, my mind was all over the place. Once submitted, I must say, girls, it was fun having you both over. We'll meet up again for bbq soon, eh!

Hmm.. 2008 doesn't start too well for me, health-wise. Been sick twice in the span of 3 months. After the girls left, the flu bug landed on me and decided to cling onto me for almost 2 weeks now. Though I've to admit, I'd exacerbate it with crabbing til wee hours in the morning. Can't help it! We left the house after dinner and though it's summer (closing to autumn) that day (or week i should say) was so cold and windy. As a result, the flu got worse. The best thing happened that night was when we saw a huge tuna strolling underneath us! Yes, the water was THAT clear! The night was dark with only half moon shining and we were sitting around.. talking and yakking on the jetty.. then there it came underneath us.. calmly strolling like nothing's happening in its world. Sigh.. I wish I'm a tuna fish =)

Work's been fine. I've to do this workshop-plan for refugees here and conduct it within a week's time. I need to call up for a meeting soon for the other project. And make sure to get another project running in time (hopefully). Right now, I don't think I wanna think/talk abt work. Fishing and crabbing sounds much more fun!

We went fishing and crabbing shopping the other day. Bought couple fishing rods (are you kidding me? of course! after seeing that tuna!) and the accessories required. Nettings and it's lures. Chairs. That should keep us busy for a while. Apart from that, we were in Hahndorf with the girls, picking strawberries and there are some parts of Hahndorf city that has been demolished to build something else. We took a different route to get to the hills and it was SO beautiful to see everything below. It really felt as if we were spirallling up the hills. Then to few malls and harbour town. Also IKEA a couple times buying things for our home. To several beaches at various times of the day. Dine out, dine in. Shop.

Had few friends over for dinner last night. Thanks to my boo's fish head curry, the whole place smelled yummy til this morning. There was Morning Tea event at the office last Friday and I managed to snuck out few pies. Villi's makes the best pies in my opinion. I've discovered how to make the pastry yummy with a tinge of orange flavour. Haven't had those for a while so I chomped down a couple and brought home some for B. Oh yesterday was spring cleaning. We finally managed to get the whole house mopped, brushed and cleaned! Sylvia's fur was all over the place! After the girls left I was aching to re-arrange some things and organize few stuff.

I am feeling so lazy to update pix n such. Will do soon. I hope. March is here! That means, two more months before the big day. Oh gosh my tummy's squirming. And flip-flopping. How I wish to wake up tomorrow and know that it's all over. *wishful thinking, i know*

Did I tell you about the Festival of Arts opening night? The Northern Lights made the buildings look mesmerizing. Clipsal started when the girls were around. We could hear those car engines zooming around from our place. Fringe has also started. Womad and Cup day is coming soon. So is Easter! And Labour Day tomorrow, hence.. no work yay!

oh yes, as for V-day. He took me to the Royal Garden restaurant and dine =)

p/s: and dear ms bugbites, happy be-earlied birthday!! in case i didn't get the chance on the day, hope you have a blast and nope, i didn't forget =)

V-day

I have a series of herb plants surviving on our kitchen balcony. We've a small outdoor opening area where Sylvia loves hanging around balancing herself on the border and sometimes sun-bathing - yes, it's summer and cold. There's parsley, basil, chilli, thyme, dill, butter lettuce, spinach, rosemary and cat-nip bought by dear beloved courtesy to Sylvia. But that doesn't stop her from harassing thyme and parsley. This morning before 8am she was already out my bedroom door and as soon as she sees me going to the bathroom, she mew all the way. Geez, it's not even morning yet! So while I was watering and caring for my herbs, she voluntarily 'gomol' the catnip and the pot fell. She stopped, looked at me - knowing well I'll raise my voice at her - and gave me the it-was-an-accident look. I can't bring myself to say anything. Instead, I picked it up again and she 'gomol' heartily. Yes. I've a very gentle-soft spot for her. After all, she never fails to brighten my day =)

My boo has been very busy lately staying up and waking up early. With his major review just around the corner, it's heart-breaking sometimes to see him working so hard. But good at the same time. Last night, I made home-made burgers and there's a quarter leftover which was on a plate and now it's not. Sylvia has been playing with it. She has a liver condition making her unable to digest food properly. So she can only eat food prescribed by the vet. But that doesn't stop her being so fat! I bet she's fatter than mowkie.

Uncle Borhan calls everyday this week. I hope everything goes well when they all are here.

I'm so hungry right now.
He has a meeting.
I should have brought an apple with me.
Ok he's ready.
FOod here I come!

Oh our vday celebration? Hhmm.. I don't know. We almost forgot (though both refuses to admit..hehe) it's today, actually. Will tell you about it soon.

Lucky Strike

Yeah so I heard. Most of my life actually.
Lucky to have this and that. Lucky to be here and there. Lucky to get this and that. Lucky in love and life.
Little do they know decisions I made are mostly made up to satisfy her.

Anyway, that's besides the point.

At the moment we're having trouble setting up internet at home. Grace has arrived and contently in my former room. Nisa and her parents, Aunty Khairul and Uncle Borhan will be arriving this Sat morning. Clipsal 500 starts on the 20th. Can't wait! We went for the Symphony under the Stars event 2 weeks ago. The fireworks sure shocked us to life! Met Anthony. The event was beautiful.

I know I promised to post the 'love' of our life soon. As soon as we get everything set-up. I am having these baking urges again. Maybe it's the weather. It's been surprisingly cool for summer. He had been heading to work with a jacket lately. I am currently on the search for a BBQ set. Living here, it is almost essential to have one (and also to make our courtyard look presentable hehe). Maybe I'll head off for some serious search after meeting with MWA next Monday. Right now, I can't seem to take it off my mind. Wish me luck! No, wish us all luck. hehe..

Sacrifice

Maybe I should go back.
Will I suffer? Sure.
That'll be my sacrifice to him.

whom by the way, works hard for my dreams.

Yay!!

Now let me just clarify first that although I've lived here for few years, all I've heard was Magill being the "rich people" area up to the hills. Not the eastern suburb. Up til Mamat mentioned it, and seeing the houses in front and surrounding areas of our new place. I did not choose the property, it chose us. Really!
Also, when Burnside Village does not happen to sell Myers, David Jones or Target merchandises. With Villeroy and Boch, Bracegirdles, Seed, Portmans, Sydney Street in Burnside Village. I reckon I would not have to step foot at Rundle Mall anymore. There's also Burnside Market with Angelakis seafood outlet, Pasta Deli, Coles, Bakers Delight, Gourmet food, cheeses and such, fruits and vegetables, Lenards, the Tea cafe and massive arrays of cafes. Not to mention the essential post office, banks and cinema. All less than 5 minutes walk from our door.

So yes, my NY resolution to do less shopping is not going easy for me. I'm pretty certain I've burnt a hole into darling fiance's pocket.

After multiple visits to various shopping outlets for home deco, we're almost done and will soon be planning a house-warming party. We still need a bit more touch-ups here and there especially for the spacious courtyard. So far, I am loving the place, the neighbourhood and people around us. We've got people coming in on Friday to install the phone line and waiting for Neil to get back to me about the oven. Then, we'll be set.

Tick-tock tick-tock it's already February.
I'll update more when the internet has set-up.
Right now, I've to buy some flour to make red bean paus for Ruitin's Chinese New Year party tomorrow.

We have a new love.
I'll post it soon!

This time, this space

Then we took off
I stare into the open space
The darkness, the emptiness
And I start thinking

I think about their relationship in the past
I think about their future
And what they have now

I wonder how my presence mean to her
And her eyes speaks
Then I stopped wondering
And I think

I visualize her again
Shining and glowing
She looked happy
So happy
And I think
I think

I think about things we've spoken about
Our late night talks
Before our minds shut down
And the ones unspoken of
I stared into the darkness
And I think

It's dark
And it's late
I'm still thinking
Til my head hurts

So what lies ahead
is unknown of
And my last words to her
Be strong

Awal Muharram 1429

So we heard the news today.

A new Muharram. A new beginning.

Last year on this new Muharram day, we got engaged.

Lasting and happily engaged.

Today, on this year's Muharram day, another good news broke in.

And hopefully it will be as lasting and as good,

as the last.

=)

Ya Allah, di awal tahun hijrah yang barkah ini, muliakan dan sayangi saudaraku ini. Bahagiakan keluarganya, sihatkan tubuh badannya, berkati rezekinya, kuatkan imannya. Beri kenikmatan ibadah padanya, jauhkannya dari fitnah. Suburkan benih keislaman pada keturunannya dan masukkan dia dalam syurgamu tanpa hisab. Amin.

- taken from Abg Zul's sms at midnight last night.

Resolution

Is it too late to think about my resolution 2008?
Hope not.

So here goes:
2008
- get married *cross fingers*
- eat healthily (veges and milk everyday) + drink more
- visit the gynaecologist
- make money + save money
- try on more new recipes
- move house
- try reduce the size of wardrobe (hence, no more shopping clothes, bags, shoes unless I need to)
- take personal health more seriously (hair, skin and face)
- love more, think less
- get to at least one place I've never been to before

Yesterday we were at the movies and I finally found the shop with my facial products. So now, no more having to stock up in KL. Even their facial treatments are here! Yay!

Today

It's been a rather busy day today. I scrubbed the bathroom in the morning, then dear Mamat called informing he's back and updating his sister's new life, also their new life as a family. So good to hear them again. Went for 2 appointments and made kebabs for dinner. These kebabs will have to stay once a week in our summer menu.

Just coz I absolutely love it!! =)

Sorry b, I'm lucky you're not so much of a fussy eater. Coz I definitely can be sometimes. I've still not found the perfect bought cheesecake. They say Michell Pattisserie has the best mango cheesecake. Does no justice to me. Still bit too much cream than cheese. Maybe I should not be such a lazy bum and make one, instead. If Mama hears me complaining like this, that's exactly the phrase she'd use right now. And I use the same ones against myself, eh. Truth is, if I make one now, I'll tend to finish it up very fast and at this point of the month before the big big day, is completely a no, no, no. As someone wise and famous say, the best cheesecake should satiate you after a piece but crave more 10 minutes later. (if only i remember who said this, i'd quote him properly)

Aunty Bedah gave us huge amount of lamb chops yesterday from qurban the other day. Now I'm truly occupied with new recipes.

Tomorrow's another big day.
*wink*

Ultra Degreaser

Due to the mess I geniusly made in the kitchen after frying off those chickens for dinner, I've decided to clean the oily stove and mop the sticky floor. The last time I mopped, I've placed the multi-purpose kitchen cleaner bottle right next to our laundry goodies so this time, when I reached for the kitchen cleaner bottle - which is next to and very similar to our Preen Ultra De-greaser Clothes spray bottle - I had successfully made our kitchen stove and floor extra shiny with the clothes spray. Good grief.

I smiled at the little girl in the truck.
And she smiled generously back.
I smiled at the busker guy singing and playing his guitar.
And he smiled generously back.
Realizing how long those smiles stayed on my face today.

When words don't work.
A gesture muscles won't hurt.
The world needs smiling strangers =)

Love In My Tummy

It's so hot tonight.

I'm actually a little excited with the groceries we bought today. Am thinking of pistachio souffle, own marinated lamb kebabs, lemon-garlic dory on spinach, and some other summer salads recipes I've found lying around in my room. Unfortunately after we got back, he's full from subway sandwiches we had at the market. I actually dreamt eating subway in my short afternoon doze this afternoon. It was too hot not to.

So here I am, feeling unmotivated to move an inch. Hot and bothered. With Erik to accompany me. Good thing we've loads to catch up with.

Bear with me.
While my mind can't stop visualizing what and how I'd make these new recipes I've got hold of. I guess it's this feeling that I love. Almost like a surgeon playing back in their minds the procedures they'll go through performing surgery (okay, too much Grey's Anatomy here). I see it as a performance. Perhaps that's why I love long and complicated recipes. It's not much about inventing and stumbling across new ways and ideas - like most chefs out there. I also love the quiet time pottering around the kitchen when everyone's busy with their daily activities. There's something there not quite I could comprehend yet. Not to mention the love and attention to every detail when making them. I love baking bread. That's my escape. From the rest of the world while they spin around and turn over. Just me in the kitchen with a buzzing pre-heating oven. So when the process is over, and it turned out to be crappy, I'd be lying if I say I won't be frustrated. Of course I would. Nevertheless, don't mind at all making them again, and again and again. Absolutely engrossed in the process, finding out what went wrong.

At the moment, yes this is what I enjoy doing. So Mama said she was just like me when she was my age. Except she already has me toddling around making a mess. As for me, maybe someday I'll get over this. One day I'll know how to make many recipes that it's no longer a curiosity to me. Or I'll get distracted by something else along the way and forgot completely this deep interest of mine.

Right now, I'm on my toes waiting for the next time he'll be hungry and asking for food =)

Happy bday, Abg

Yesterday as usual he stayed home while I was having bout of cramps. Last day. Yoplait Elivae does help a bit. Been eating them every morning for bloating prior to today. Lufee got back few days ago and she lost a luggage. Poor thing.

As I was lying around watching Jamie Oliver on Ten, I realized he has a number of hens for their eggs at his home. Just what I want to have! But of course not in the near future. And he talked about lambs just how Papa said it to be long ago. So it's true. No, not that I doubt Papa for one bit! It's just interesting to see other people with the same view. Especially when everyone else's crazy about spring lamb.

I have been thinking about roasting and stuffing turkey since last Christmas. Well, actually since Christmas the year before, when there were only Meen and I around the house. To get a small turkey is almost impossible at the time and also last year. So maybe I could start looking for one now. Or get people over to share. Hhmm.. definitely not in the near future either!

Happy 20th birthday, Abg!
Yes, 20 years old. And one day. His bday was yesterday. I wonder if he feels that way. Then again, maybe not. Nope, definitely not. And I love you the same. Well, maybe not as much I did when you were 3 all cute and cuddly. But still. No, I didn't like you when you were born. You were supposed to be a girl. And I was comfortable being the only child. Apple of everyone's eyes. Spoilt and all. And yes, it took me time to adjust. And yes, I hate you the most when you were in high school. Acting out and think you're tough. Despite all that, I can see that soft hearted young man. And I can still see it. So now I don't care what you do or think, you're still that little brother of mine with a huge heart and I know we'll take care of each other no matter how crazy our worlds turn out to be. Happy 20th bday.

and.. we're BACK!

Oh dear.
Where do I start.

We got back and both were down with flu. Well, actually I was then he got it from me. Got mine first day in Brunei. Then the internet was out. Dear Rachel got it sorted out. Not having checked emails and blog for close to a month is no joke. I wonder how she survived it when we were gone. It was tolerable when I was away though (my hourly activities were scheduled by dear mama the right moment I stepped down to KL) but I miss blogging dearly. What can I say, it's my world =)

GC was crazy fun. I've pictures of us doing Scooby-doo (being the chicken-shit I am, it was traumatic enough - though Meen agrees with me, it is scary - coming from the deathly roller-coaster queen, maybe I'm not that of a chicken-shit) and I'm almost certain, that was a kiddie coaster ride (and I know Renae would beg to differ - jst cause she went on it, too). Him, being the next roller-coaster king I've ever known of, went on many rides that would only occur to me in my dreams - as nightmares. Since we're on the GC page, not to mention Surfer's Paradise and the beaches. As for now, no beach can compare to those we went in GC - to me, the least. Being a rather no-big-deal about beaches, I can say, GC beaches were alive and strong that day. And I absolutely LOVE it. Oh and not to mention the shopping we did =)

KL was allright. Not as hot as it is here. As mentioned, there were not an hour wasted. I've made lasagne 3 times (and one time in brunei) that now I don't think I can eat any, molten choc pudding (couple times), cinnamon rolls (for dear Ma), Christmas fruit pudding (for dear Mama and Raya Haji) and roast chickens (for Papa and Adik's friends). Oh and brownies before I left for GC again. If not for these requests, I've evidence to show the number of times I stepped in the kitchen. It's amazing I know how to turn on the tap there. The very next day we reach KL, we went to meet Shamsu. Our designer. Where we met Leya's mom and sis there. Only to learn Leya just got married over the weekend! Leya's 2 years my junior where we spent time organizing school sports day and multiple arts and cultural events. So when I heard she got married, I assumed it was with her high-school sweetheart (just like I had imagined her, years back). To dear sweet Leya and Ashraf, may the new light and stage of life shines strong on you both with warmth, love and good-spirit - unconditionally. Then the days following on that continued with multiple arrangements, decision-making, planning and appointments to be filled and addressed to. Also not to forget, deaths. He has one, on his side and mine on Papa's side. I didn't get to see arwah when she was 'nazak'. She was bed-ridden suffered from stroke if not mistaken. For at least the past 5-6 years. I was in college the first time I visited her. And by then she had been bed-ridden, unable to speak for couple of years already. My memories of her when she was healthy were very short but precise. After that long of suffering, if God does not want to make her well again, I pray He take her with Him, and place her in a much better place and condition than she is at that time. So He took her away. I hugged her daughter and met her husband. He remembers me =)

I didn't get to meet Papa til few days after I arrived in KL. Then we flew to JKT. Where water can rise at any time. We stayed in a hotel suite that I wish I'd able to enjoy it, relaxed. With million things in the palm of my hands (quite, literally), I kinda wish we have one more day extra just to relax. But, of course not. We made friends and arrangements with the textile guy and he bought us satay padang. Like Adik said, "Kak, I feel like a millionaire here". Indeed, we were =)

Then to KL again then to Brunei. Where all my physical and emotional level almost drop to zero. I got sick and was not too eager to go around, though it is my first time there. I didn't even feel like checking-out the great Empire Hotel (where my family stayed). Meen and I we stayed at Suc's house. It was good to see her again. She's got a new guy now and I hope and pray this time it turns out well for her. We talked and touched about love and relationships, one of the many I miss about her. Oh, I did get to taste Ns Katok, though. Courtesy of Shahrin. Other than that, I wasn't so much in the mood to discover Brunei. Quite frankly, the moment I saw her, beautiful in her traditional dress - all red and teary eyed first we met (and cried when we left) - I had made my decision. She's the reason I'm here. And she's all the reason. No matter how crazy my mind and physical condition were, I'm not gonna fall down right now. Not while in Brunei.

Therefore when we reach ADL, everything falls down for me. So I lay on bed, sleep. Get re-charged for the following months ahead. If only it's not too hot around here. And guess what? It's cramping-time again. Ouch!

The trip this year-end was filled with new beginnings, crazy laughter, deathly ends. New faces, long-timed friends. Oh and I forgot to mention the friends I met whom are safely married and some with babies. It's a crazy, crazy world out there. So HUGE, filled with many, many stories.

So 2007 has closed.
It's our first new year celebration here.
This morning I woke up and the flu bug is getting better for both of us. Though I'm still with scratchy throat. But that'll go off soon. My ears popped few times and I hope that'll be the last. It hasn't popped yesterday. My nasal-ly voice has also disappeared.

Maybe it is a new beginning.
And it'll be a good one =)

Merry Xmas

Just as I blogged about not knowing where to stay in GC last entry, little did I know on the other side, darling fiance was making arrangements and booking accomodation for us =) Great minds think alike, eh? heee..

I am in a dilemma.

DW, SW, MW.

We've not enough time to go to all three, we can only choose 2.
So. After some researching and asking people around, we've made our decision especially after dear Renae called from work (then got interrupted by her boss!). I hope she's fine now. hehe. That girl is so crazy! Marissa's leaving for London next year for work and they're meeting up for holidays in Vietnam, Thai and Msia somewhere late May/June 08. So guess what's gonna happen? =)=)=) Can't wait!!

Now we've bought tickets and such, all I've to do today is shop for mama. Sigh. Quilt goodies, foot lotion and scrub, choc drinks and sunscreen. Yesterday we planned to go Harbour town but instead head off to West Lakes shopping centre. got Suc's pressies and more GC items.

Whoever invented credit cards, are a lifesaver to me right now.

*not sure when will be the next time I blog. If I don't, then have a Merry, Merry Christmas everyone!!

Nomad on Board

Latest update:
Excited and tummy-cramp (%#%@!!!!!)

Besides that, we've been around viewing people's properties and buying things before the weekend. Only after Chenyi left on Monday night, I realized we've only few days left before our holiday!! *yippee*

Things checked:
1) Brunei trip - all arranged and booked (re-confirm w Mamat if he's escorting us from airport)
2) Jakarta trip - tickets confirmed and to be picked up. Need to update list to buy.
3) Gold Coast trip - more sunscreen!!!
4) KL trip - don't even start. Mom's lotions, goodies, Daya's choc drinks, Mama's quilt stuff etc..
5) Korea trip - tickets booked and need to confirm. Update to buy list.

Okay that's a lie. Gold Coast trip, we haven't booked any accomodation yet, haven't bought any theme park tickets and have no idea how we're going to survive (considering my effortless attempt enough to watch my spending this month!) So for that trip, cross fingers for us. Hmm.. to be absolutely honest with you, I don't actually mind accomodating myself at the lovely beach. Do we need warrant for having an overnight at a public beach?

Anyone know?

Double celebration

8.30 am and I'm wide awake.

Mai's bday last Thursday we had some cake and dinner. Prior to that I wanted try on some recipes from my books but we were so busy with home arrangements and visa applications. On that day itself I had to drop-in at the immigration and head off to Prospect for another house inspection. Luckily on Friday we were not too busy to help Mai prepare her picnic bday party for the next day. By the time she reached here I was still in jammys so we left a bit late but managed to get hold of most things for her. Poor girl was so nervous no one would turn up or if people wouldn't enjoy themselves but excited all together. Oh and also Luke's engagement party is on the same day as her picnic bday celebration. So I managed to bake cakes for both events.

The next day (Sat) we got dressed early, head off to the botanics where Luke (without his reggae head-gear this time) and the lovely Kathlynn held their engagement party. It was supposed to be as hot as 37 degrees but it turned out to be 34 so it was allright under the shades and windy trees. There were lots of people obviously and food. Near us there were also a newly wed couple taking photo shoots sessions with her bridemaids and men, and flower girls. Lovely.

By the time we reach home I was already feeling tired from the excitements, then we left for the beach with Mai. Met some of her colleagues, took pictures, took a short stroll at the beach then headed back to her place. Went to her friend's (Girish) beautiful apartment (with a pool table!) then head back home. Reached home only to find myself too tired to sleep! Despite sleeping so late last night, I managed to wake up unusually early today and talked to dear Lufee before her flight back to Singapore. Oh and Chenyi is coming over tonight!

Arranged few things with Suc (oh gotta go get her wedding pressies) then I'm gonna take a shower.
Kate and James gig?
This coming Thurs.
We'll see.
*yawn*

right kind of wrong

Sometimes it has to be wrong to be right.

dearie, i know you're happy with Donny.
he is "the one", indeed.
i trust when you say what you say.
i hope you get what i mean.
i wish i am there with you now.
i hope you choose the right path.
i wish you both well.
heck, i wish you didn't have to go through all this.
yes, this is the reason i left too.
and also many more.
i hope you'd find your own self-development.
i hope this makes you grow and be stronger.
i know soon you will get through this.
it sickens to see you so depressed and sad.
i hope i cushioned your broken little heart.
like you did when mine fell apart.
ans i'll be here for you, when your world twirls around.

We're not gonna take it

why do they talk when we don't bother with their lives?
like they say, "kita buat hal sendiri pun, dia nak kata"
haiya.. kita tak cara pun pasal org lain..
maybe that's why.
coz we didn't bother.

sigh

the veronicas?
hell, i like this version better.
turn up your volume and blast it!

She

She said today.
I have found someone to be and live with.

and I want to mark the day.
After so long waiting.. =)

Sunday

Unlike on Friday (where everything's been planned for weeks beforehand), today was more of a spontaneous activity. While waiting for the event to start, we browsed through the Sunday Market at the Festival Centre foyer. Instead of having the event in the park, they changed the venue to the John Bishop buiding so lucky for me (forgot to put sunscreen on). The first song they played (Elliot Fisk) was a song my beloved fiance had been playing for months to end. Good for him, he got this chance to see and hear the real people play. The event ended at 5 so we went to the outdoor cafe nearby to grab some food. It was so hot so we just sat under the shade after our meal while the band was playing some music for that night's show. Then we went to the lake near the park and watch these swans and ducks flocking around, flapping their wings. They came so near to us so trusting that we won't hurt or catch them. Good birds. And beautiful too.


Oh and here are some pictures from the bar and from "Echoes of Spain".

The Crowd

Actually I managed to capture a 10 seconds play from this but can't seem to be able to get it uploaded here (not that I try enough, yes, I've been so lazy).

*Mama called. We're changing the month now.

Marking the Day

Today marks the day Kevin Rudd won the election.

And also confirms our date.

Updates updates

Soon after the heat-gush week, when the weather just started to cool down, a dear friend who lived rather near to us, had a shock of her life. Her house caught fire. They said it was caused by a short-circuit from the back room. Luckily she was sleeping over at The Village the night it happened, only to find out close to noon that day the state of the house and her belongings.

http://www.news.com.au/adelaidenow/story/0,22606,22796064-2682,00.html

He took half day off from work and Mai picked him up to help that day. I made some warm food for her and invited her for dinner. All in all, she gets support and help from various parties and communities. By the time we arrived, she seemed calmer and taking charge of her belongings. Hamdi, Mai, him and I went to the market to get things prepared for dinner. It was such a short notice so the simplest and easiest meal I could think of was roast chickens and pilaf. Oh and from the cosy baking day the day before, I made Red Velvet cake which turned out to be rather uncake-like. I honestly had wanted to throw the cake away, fortunately we took it to Aida's and they all gobbled them up. Hamdi offered to try his hands on it. Since the recipe's still fresh in mind, we managed to get all ingredients at the market and headed home to start dinner. Around 9pm, Adil, Haz, Ariff, Diba, Aida, and the 4 of us settle down to eat. That was also when I suppose it all dawned to her. She brokedown. To Aida dearie, I cannot say I understand how you feel. No one can ever do when no fire victim incident is the same. I wish you well and many many happiness in the future. She's left on holidays today. Now in the hands of her beloved family. Oh yea, we crowd ourselves in front of the telly that night to watch the news. She came on the morning and afternoon news but not the evening.

Thursday we were house-hunting again. Actually, I don't quite remember what else we did that day. But he was at home and it was a cool day. I made mini baguettes while Lufee hung around for a chitty chat talk. I told her about the next day's event.

Come Friday he went to uni briefly while I prepare some sandwiches with my baguettes to bring to the event. And that's where we were. They were trying to break the Guiness World Record of playing "Smoke under water" all at the same time with 2000 people. So we went there, registered, and my oh my were there a lot of people. From all ages. If you try look closely to this picture (pardon my effort of taking pictures), you'd perhaps see a faintest image of a small boy perhaps less than 5 or 6 years old holding his father's hand on one while carrying his guitar on the other. There were also a whole family playing next to us from the grandfather down to the youngest girl playing songs from their guitars. I didn't manage to capture these 2 young men in their suits and ties (perhaps came down from work) to the park with their guitars. Schoolies came down straight from schools. Not to mention the old folks. Grey hair, beat-up jeans.. I just love the way they look.

*i heard you were the star of the day*

That day didn't just end up there. We went for the opening performance "Echoes of Spain" performed by famous guitarists like Juan Martin and Elliot Fisk. It's a black-tie event so from our 'beat-up' jeans, we had to rush back home and change before heading back for the performance. Yup, from beat-up jeans to dress gowns and suits. Hurried our dinner and grabbed a cab. At the performacen, luckily enough we sat next to Peter, the president of classicals in Melbourne. He flew all the way down to be there and after the show, we turned around and he gave us free tickets to the Wah-Bar. I was given the opportunity to witness Jeff Lang play the "slide guitar". What a day/night. As I said to Lufee, 78 bucks is not too much for a guitar-freak =) Oh yes, and we managed to turn her green with jealousy. Poor girl had to work that night. Next year Luf, we'll book early ok!

I've more pictures of the event which (cross fingers) I'd upload them at my fotopages. When I've the time. Today we went for house inspections and the market. Then too tired and overwhelmed to do anything else, we stayed home watching movies. I've yet to decide Mai's b'day cake. Hmm..

Home-time

I feel like I've not seen my dear housemates for ages! (4 days to be exact)
Rachel would've called a search agent for us if she had not seen us today.. hehe
So this morning I woke up early and make breakfast.
It so happen to be Lufee's day-off today and I don't think Rachel feels like going to uni today. Her mind is not here anymore. So we had breakfast and after he left for work, we all sat in the living room chatting away, while I look for some recipes to make with my plums. It's a rainy day today. What perfect way to stay-in cosily with friends and bake goodies. Yum!

10 months

Yep, 10 months.
And this time, it was him wishing me first.
Our plan for this month? I've no plans actually.
I'll wait for him to come up with something this time =)

*happy 10-months anniversary, b*

Weekend update

Thursday night we went Broadview, then to Tea Tree Plaza for some late night shopping and when we got home, YJ (or at least that's how i think they spell his name) got a contract with a company he's been dying to get into. Of course, it calls for a celebration! With Lufee, Rachel and few friends at home, it was a full house that night. Congratulations!


Then on Friday he got off work so we could go for house inspections. There were perhaps around 4 places to go but we ended up going to only 1 and while waiting for the next one, we headed to the beach. So HOT! We were craving for a burger. I have in mind a greasy, fat loaded burger from any fast food joint. While he was looking for a ridiculous sized burger that could feed a whale! It was very good though. With a blue drink on a hot, hot day. Oh my that day was hot. And what better way to spend a hot day with an ice cream in hand, lying on the park under the shade, watching people go by. Splendid.


Saturday after exams, we went for a bit of a spree before heading home. Had lunch while waiting for the weather to cool down a little. In my room, it's absolutely difficult to sleep-in. The room just brightens up any time the sun appears. The sun now comes up at 6 and sets down around 8 so waking up at 6.30 that morning was not so hard. We got invitations to hit the clubs with some friends since they're going back to their home country for the holidays, so there we were. Since it's Saturday night, it's close to impossible to get into clubs without a queue. Judging from the time we all left the house (close to 11), doesn't help either. However, that doesn't stop us from returning home nearing 4am hehe..


On Sunday, despite the late night-in and slight sore throat, the sunlight pestered us to get up early. So we went to the airport then hit the beach. Got ourselves bottles of sunblock and sun protections, nothing could've stopped us from getting wet! Stamping our feet on the soft, warm sands. Stuffed our faces with double scooped Anderson's ice cream while waiting for my skirt and his pants to dry. Then of course the best part of all, sunset. That magical hour.

Today we were at the beach again. It's 37 degrees, where else do people go? Grabbed our beach gears and went straight to the waters. This time, with proper swim gears hehe.. Took a nap under the sun while he collected seashells for his photography website. Got home, baked bread for his lunch tomorrow then hit the sack.

*my hot days - though i sometimes wish winter is back*

Christmas Parade

2 years ago at this time of the year, I was studying hysterically to get by that nerve-wrecking lab experiments and final year exams. Last year I was away in Swiss (or was it Luxembourg), also confused with all the 'merisik' hassle. This year I've no excuse (not that I have to have one) not to go to the Christmas Parade in CBD.


So there we were last weekend. Starts at 9.45 to 11am. I've never seen so many people in CBD before. The day was nice and hot. Perfect for a parade.


I've just realized there are so many pictures in my folders that are not in my fotopages and haven't been uploaded. Maybe next time. I've not taken pictures of many dishes either. Here we were at his favourite hangout. To Nikmad, careful, he's already making calculations in his head to get an electeric guitar. That's where I bought a hat for our holiday trip. This is a salad dish that I'm not too sure why and what I made them with. Also Piccata with capers and lemon, traditionally made with veal but chicken breasts are fine. Yesterday I made cheese buns and shortbread cookies. Guess I'm back to baking again =)

I've to pick up my pants!

September

I am not a horoscopic/star sign reader. Rather, I very much prefer personality tests. I find them to be more accurate than this and it gives me a chance to give input and credit to myself rather than having to rely on astronomical positions to spit out my characters/luck for me.

Nevertheless, as personality tests are too confronting to some - and also through the massive amounts of junk mails sent by Kde - I stumbled across this small list that describes him a lot. We both are September babies and although we don't share the same star sign, there are many things we disagree about but mostly we do.

SEPTEMBER
* Suave and compromising
* Careful, cautious and organized
* Quiet but able to talk well
* Calm and cool
* Kind and sympathetic
* Concerned and detailed
* Trustworthy, loyal and honest
* Does work well
* Sensitive
* Thinker
* Good memory
* Clever and knowledgeable
* Loves to look for information
* Able to motivate oneself
* Understanding
* Secretive
* Loves sports, leisure and traveling
* Hardly shows emotions
* Tends to bottle up feelings

As for me, I can only leave it to others to judge.
I am who I am. And I am also who I think you think I am.

Hot Hot Hot

It's starting to warm up here. We took a stroll yesterday after he returned from work to the streets and parks behind the house. It was a lovely day yesterday also to find people walking or jogging around. Unlike strolling around the old place, there are not many Asians, kids, or Aboriginals in this area. Everyone's either dressed in a suit or working clothes. The closest family-joint we came across with are at Bocelli's where babies and kids running around. I can't wait to review the restaurants. Oh and I'd have to dry clean some of our clothes (we found 2 dry clean shops behind the house) and also to alter my pants before our holiday trip.

He left for work early this morning for a presentation but a bit later than usual now that he can walk to uni (and believe me, he hasn't stopped humming since the day we moved in). Few nights ago our neighbour had a party next door. Sharm called up for a drink but we weren't able to make it.

Mama has been making calls asking to buy her quilt materials and I can tell Papa can't wait for us to return home. There are so much arrangements and decisions to make.

I made Ainsley's muffins the other night to finish up our pineapple jam. And yes, I'm still cramping *ouch!*

White Lie

"Sometimes we're forced to bend the truth, transform it, cuz we're faced
with things that are not of our own making. And sometimes, things simply catch
up to us..."
"..Truth is still absolute, believe that. Even when that truth is hard and
cold and more painful than you ever imagined. And even when truth
is more cruel than any lie."
-taken from bugbitesandco (hope you don't mind! =)

She asked "kitorang ni teruk sgt ke?"
And I answered "to me, you guys are not bad at all"

I lied.

She was hurt and sad.
I couldn't even mutter the truth.

It could be better, I said to him in the morning when I knocked on his door.

But it didn't work out.
One day, you'll grow out of it all.

Home Sweet Home

Ok now that everything's settled, I've finally found time to update my blog and fuss about everything else. The feeling of unpacking our kitchen wares into our own cabinets are untold for. Couldn't help myself from telling him how good it feels. To see my beloved pots and pans, grill pan, baking wares, plates and bowls, cutleries.. sigh. I must say, it was surprising to see him making fun, humming and giggling through the whole process of moving out despite the muscle-aches and one day off work. Didn't think he'd be that happy. Only to find out he feels like being watched over living there. Honestly, I didn't feel that way til the other day when they came knocking on our door looking for him. She said she knew he'd be home coz she saw Adil and Haz went out. The odds? Highly. Only then I found out they keep track of who comes in, who goes out, who brings who in, where the cameras were, what time we get home, when do we go out etc etc. It is almost like living in a hostel, only without curfew. And they don't let you know, that they know. However, I must say, security's way good. Almost to excellent. If you're homesick, and want a lot of familiar malay faces, or love hanging around a bunch of students, that's the place to be. I suppose for a guy whom is wise enough to take care of himself, of course, he demands privacy and pure freedom so it can be a little tense to feel watched over every day.

As for me, of course I love it here. Big comfy bed, huge built-in robes, big windows and a balcony for fresh air, own laundry n dryer, large marble top for my bakings and kneadings, two huge sinks, good people, what else could I ask for. The first thing we did the first night was to order Dominos online and hear them ringing our door bell. Order-in food. Heaven =) Being able to buy anything I want comfortably and wear whatever I want without a care. In this home, we live with working people so day times are always quiet and empty which could be rather lonely at times but only if you hate being alone, that is. We only see each other at dinner time and on weekends. Night-ins are as early as 11pm and of course, we get to bring home whatever/whoever we want, that's the best part. Most importantly, it is understood perfectly that we have our own lives and they have theirs. So long no one's breathing down ours or theirs necks asking where we/they went or wanting us/them joining all our/their events, we're fine. Then again, they're too busy to give a damn about other people's affair so that's just perfect for us.

So our hang-out joint has changed to the street behind us and also the streets in front of us. More restaurants to review on and new grocery shopping joint. But of course, no place beats central market for their cheap and fresh goodies. I came across dear Lufee's cookbooks and that'll keep me busy for the next month. Rachel's father is a cook and I'm sure to get points from her soon too. He and Rachel have a lot in common in terms of their workload as both are phd research students. Now I understand b, how busy and in need of your own space at times.

The landlord and plumber came in this morning to repair our alarm system and shower cap. Oh, I've placed my parsley out in my balcony. It finally gets lots of warm sun and I forgot to water it today. Oh dear..

Uh-oh

I should go see a gynae.
It's tumbling inside.
Ouch!

Murtabak

So we've set up the dates and pack up some things that won't be using for the next very few days. I'm still wondering where we'll chuck his guitar and TV but we'll worry abt that later in the week. Had a good chat with darling suc last night, pestering me to get her 2 wedding presents (tak malu nyaa hehe), and making arrangements to my family's stay there. Also about what I'm to wear to all of her events. That girl makes me nervous sometimes.

With dear Aunty Bedah's help, I managed to whip up the long-craved-for murtabak. Of course, nothing beats the mamak's oily version but this one is enough to keep it off our minds temporarily.

Off to making passionfruit ice cream! =) *yum*

Ice Creams

Maggie Beer frustrates me with her party ice-cream recipe but Simon Bryant gave me an idea of a homemade ice cream waffle cone *yay*

I've started packing today. Tomorrow we'll look out for more boxes.

*also to call Makcha tonite and update her about my pulut kuning. it turned out all right =)*

Jitters

Keith Fechner is one of Australia's oldest baker around. A German-Australian, he produces a wide range of bread daily starting at 4am everyday baking with his wooden-scotch oven. He's 84 years old.
Australia has the best wheat to produce 'udon' noodles. They're exporting these Japanese traditional noodles to Japan now.

*i'm so nervous i could hardly taste what i had for dinner tonite. wish me luck tomorrow!*

Dream

Few years back in 2004, when I was back in Italy, we went to this restaurant in Milan and had 'bombas'. It's tiny balls of pizzas about the size of tennis balls wrapped in pizza dough. We had kiddie sized it because the amount they serve back there is huge! Spizzico was our favourite joint in Milan but they don't serve bombas or calzones, because their open pizzas are great! Yes, pizzas and pastas were our main dish when we were there.

They say if you love to travel, you'll love food. Or vice versa. For us, it's smack down true. Pastas are the easiest ever food anyone can make. Either white sauce or red. You can have it green or orange too. It won't be long before I try making my own pasta noodles. Only recently I found a recipe for bombas but it seemed different to the ones I had. I shall give it a try once we move out and get a proper kitchen. It was there I learnt about hens and eggs, how to cook them properly (the eggs i mean), and about meat. Contrary to popular beliefs (especially in the US and Aust now), spring lamb is tender but not as full of flavour as autumn lamb. Papa enjoyed talking to the butchers there.

Like Papa, I wish I can get hold of some animals and farm them to consumption. He farmed cows once upon a time ago and I don't remember if they are still there or has he sold them all off. Maybe when I earn a bit more and settled down properly, I'll get a couple of hens for their eggs. My uncle (Encik) used to farm lambs, chickens, pheasants and I remember he has a couple of peacocks just for show. Oh there are ducks and geese too. His backyard is enormous, hilly and green. I think he was inspired while living in New Zealand. And plus he's a veterinarian too. But no, I don't wish to farm that much. A couple of hens will do for me. And a small land for my herbs and greeneries. Also a few small logs for growing edible mushrooms. If he's creative and diligent enough, I'll let him build me an outdoor oven. No, not buy. Build. With our own bare hands. That'll do.

My dream way of living.

Fly Away with Me

So it's that time of the year again. Once again, this ending of the year and opening of the new year I'd be flying off here and there. Luckily it wouldn't be as much as the last. There'd be few new places and long-timed faces to meet. And the best part is, instead of travelling single like most of the years, I'll have company this year. We even have a small holiday together. I call it our 'pre-honeymoon'. Like an engagement honeymoon. That sounds nice. So if I didn't get a honeymoon after the wedding (we've yet to decide about this), I wouldn't be disappointed =)

*thank you, b*

I've been doing some shopping-frenzy lately. So many things to buy, so much to do. Now that we've confirmed our plans, there are a list of things to do before our pre-honeymoon. It's a good thing we've a date. Now I can calculate how much longer I have to put up with a dirty kitchen, and when to get out of here. Thinking about it, it's not too bad actually. Not much longer. Still, I can't wait! =) Oh Syar and I share the same ideas about dishes. We hate them so when we cook, we either wash them up straight away after use or we use as little pots and pans we can. That's why we don't mind doing our own dishes. But not others. And we can't stand leftover food and dirty dishes lying around. Feels good venting out to you, Syar. A good lending ear. Thank you.

The deep sour apple pie turned out to be good. But it still isn't the kind of pie I was looking for. Aunty Bedah taught us to make murtabak from spring rolls sheets. I'm not so sure how ours will turn out, though. My handphone's still crazy. Maybe it's a sign to get a new one, eh b. I said, just maybe =)

Over the weekend I tried on a Thai pumpkin curry. Poor thing my baby doesn't like pumpkin so I put in other seafood and mushrooms. It was good, eh. Then sometime before that I made kedgeree with salmon. I still haven't tried pulut kuning. Makcha called the other day asking how mine went, and when I told her I haven't tried yet, she went ballistic. I've heard her like that so many times before that it sounds like music to my ears now. It's pretty funny too. And I love her when she does that. It makes her more motherly to me. This year I realize that I'm missing her much more than before. I talk about her more, I call her more often. And I can't wait for us to spend time with her, b. She amuses me everytime.

Crazy Handphone

Yesterday when I woke up and he had gone to work, I realized my handphone is going nuts. So trying hard not to think or fondle it too much, I put on my robe and marched to the kitchen for a peek (yes, I peek first). No leftovers or dirty pots and pans lying nearby. Luckily it was bearable enough for today's project, Ainsley's deep sour apple pie. Good thing it only requires a food processor, kitchen bench and oven. Stove is dirty and oily but for this project, I don't need to use that area.

By the time I finished, it is still a bit whacko. I tried at my best of knowledge and little experience to fix it. After half an hour later, I gave up. Once again, I head to the kitchen to fix dinner. Stacked off all the dishes away to start doing my dishes after cooking, it beeped. I let it be. Then while cleaning up (the area of the one and only stove I used), it beeped again. I knew someone's trying to get to me. Hours later, after dinner, papa called. He's been trying to get to me hours ago and unfortunately I didn't get any of his calls nor voice mails. Not even SMS.

It's official, my handphone has gone haywire. Sigh.

Tickets

I feel much much better now that we've bought our tickets and confirmed our plans. It really was a spur of the moment thing. The last time I went on an on-the-spot trip was with Jules and Izmia. We bought the next ticket out and had only hours to pack. Without plans, without any idea where to stay, what to eat or where to go. Heck, neither of us ever been there! And til today, we still talk about the trip in our daily conversation. It was great.

All I've to do now is count the days =) can't wait!!

Exams

To those busy preparing for exams. Best of luck!

9th month

Now I remember what we did on our 8-month anniversary. We went Mapo!

Today I tried making kedgeree with fresh fish stock for brunch. We were supposed to go to the floral exhibition park but it is darn hot hot hot today. Instead, we'll go out for dinner as we usually do.

I asked before we got engaged if we will be able to go out clubbing after we get married. His answer is yes. And still is. Since we got engaged, I can count with my fingers the times we went. I'm not entirely sure how it got from then to now. Perhaps I grew out of it. Or it's him filling up my time with better things to do. So few days ago after a long while, a number of friends and us went out but instead of hanging out til late, we headed home not long after the crowd started filling in the club. I guess it's no longer a thing for us. It no longer seem exciting to us anymore. Our activities doesn't seem to surround what's hip to do among our friends or of what's the talk of the town about. Our interest shifted to activities that can be enjoyed together or what we both like to do. Hanging out with friends till wee hours in the morning slowly became something of 'been there, done that', nothing to be impressed about or a 'want-to-do' anymore. Sure we love hanging out with good friends for few hours in the day or at night but there will always be a night-cap just for the two of us alone, enjoying each other's company.

So perhaps this is what lifetime companion is about. Without notice, he becomes my best friend. No longer just a person whom I rely on or be relied of. No more just someone anticipating expectations of, or responsibilities to. No longer just the person who is there and will be there through my ups and down. No longer just my other shadow or just my better half. He is also the person I share my boredom hours, my night and day. So we hear people saying they cannot stand being together or of each other's company for more than 4 days, they need to get away from each other for a bit. I hope that doesn't happen to us, b. I hope I will always miss and wish you're here with me whenever we're apart. I hope you will always have that big smile on your face like when you feel so glad to see me, like the one you always have whenever you see me everyday after you return from work. I wondered myself long ago, what would it be like 30 (i once spontaneously asked if he'd live with me for the next 30 years, he said, make it 50 =) to 50 years from now if I'm still alive, will I be able to enjoy spending time and lazy days with him. Would we be able to enjoy each other's company together.

I hope we will.
I sure hope so too.

Happy 9-months Anniversary, b.

Pulut Kuning

I knew if I call mama she'd come up with a long, weary, but traditional way of making pulut kuning. And I was right. In fact, bibik happened to make good pulut kuning recently. Luckily, I have a second mother, Makcha (whom never fails to make me laugh heartily every time we talk). She gave me the instant way. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore the traditional way and intend to keep it going throughout my generation. But this time I'm only making for two and it'll be my first time so this is the way to go.

Good luck to me!

Brothers

Suci just called asking us to take a look at her brother. He has not been sleeping and had blacked out. I'm waiting for him to get off the phone with Abg Yusry so I can call him and tell him we're coming over now.

Sigh.
Brothers.

Go Crazy with Creativity

Thanks to my beloved, years back (yes, when he was flirtatious and working his charm =) and I was young and couldn't care less), he handed me his comic collections of Neil Gaiman (which he bought and collected religiously, while living in the UK) and one of them I remember reading over and over again is today's new movie, Stardust. Of course at the time I used a lot of my imagination with the help of those little comic illustrations, but it was really good. Almost to nothing compared to the movie is today. Watching it, I thought to myself, I prefer my own imagination. So I vow (like I had always done) not to watch movies I've read before anymore. But I can't help making comparisons. Like how I compared Disneyworld to Euro Disney and Europa Park when I was a kid (and got into a huge kiddie argument with my cousin, Shareena who lived there at the time). Floriade in Amsterdam to Sydney's. Maybe that's why I'm not so much of a movie buff. It spoils my imagination.

On the way home we talked about work. He said work will never be enjoyable, because it is work. It's exciting the beginning few months, then it becomes a routine. I've always thought with 8 working hours 5 times a week, most of my life would be about and of work. So if I don't enjoy work, then I won't enjoy life. Bill Grainger said, "I'm not a person who if work was boring or anything was not working, I would just keep on doing it." Brought me to thinking, it doesn't have to be boring. Or anything. It's just opportunities. If you think about it, then it becomes something.

We had a late night snack at The Coffee Club. John Torode made a point. It's next to shame of what's coming up from Britain and Europe. Pretty much the same menu wherever you go here. But I've only been to few places in Australia. Not my place to judge. As far I'm concerned, Adelaide's pretty much same ol same.

Guess what. The Hairy Biker's Ride Again cookbook came up as one of the top ten! Oh dear. At the meantime, what I enjoy most is cooking. How long it'll last, I don't know. Maybe it'll wear off at some time, maybe it won't. All I know, right now, I'm enjoying it for what it is. Lufee asked why I haven't been baking lately. To be honest, I'm pretty disgusted to bake/cook. I'd rather dine out. The ants are coming up to the kitchen bench and stove now. They said, it's summer coming. Summer came and left when we first arrived here and no ants crawled everywhere. I think because of all the leftover food left on the tables and counter, and not wiping the counter after each use. When I used to bake earlier, I wipe the kitchen bench every time. First the ants came up to the table in front of the tv, where food and dishes were left there for days sometimes, and now it's coming up to the kitchen and stove. We've stopped cleaning up after them. I'm starting to feel we're being taken for granted. And I absolutely, absolutely hate that feeling. Garbage hasn't been thrown out for a week now. We've done our 2-weeks agreement. We're done. I've taken my flour and baking goodies into the cabinet again. We had an agreement, but I guess we're not keeping to it. I'm sick of making excuses to him. I'm sorry baby, I didn't know when I asked you to move in with them, you signed up a contract living with filth. I really didn't know.

*i do hate this feeling. absolutely hate this feeling*

Smile

have you smiled a small smile..
the kinda smile that you don't notice til few seconds later.
then when you realize you're smiling, it stretches to a wider smile.
infectious.

that moment just happened a while ago.
thank you, suc for making it happen today.

the answer is, yes.

Signs

So she called late at night,
asking "why can't I be alone, why it doesn't feel right"
and I said, hush now beloved friend,
because we are human, we need each other til the end.

She said he had a dream last nigt. About her getting married to someone else and he ended up cheating on her with her colleague. So she worry herself sick if that dream's a sign for them.

That's the thing with signs.
I believe signs to be God's way telling us things.
I also believe signs are incidental.
Sometimes I follow them. Sometimes I don't.
Other times I don't notice them, other times I leave them be.
Often I find myself picking them up, then I putting them back down again.
I don't live my life ruled entirely by them.
I don't take everything as a sign and live according to them.
Because I also believe that that would drive me insane.

Let me get hurt sometimes,
and crash to the ground,
cry a little, and die just a little.
To make me grateful for the little I have,
and cherish the small I encounter.
Make me treasure the pleasure,
and endure the pain.

However..
that's how I live my life to be.
Also because simplicity is a desirable word for me.

Into the wild

Oh it's a mystery to me.
We have a greed, with which we have agreed...
and you think you have to want more than you need...
until you have it all, you won't be free.

Society, you're a crazy breed.
I hope you're not lonely, without me.
When you want more than you have, you think you need...
and when you think more than you want, your thoughts begin to bleed.
I think I need to find a bigger place...
cause when you have more than you think, you need more space.

Society, you're a crazy breed.
I hope you're not lonely, without me.
Society, crazy indeed...
I hope you're not lonely, without me.

There's those thinkin' more or less, less is more,
but if less is more, how you keepin' score?
It means for every point you make,
your level drops.
Kinda like you're startin' from the top...
and you can't do that.

Society, you're a crazy breed.
I hope you're not lonely, without me.

Society, crazy indeed...
I hope you're not lonely, without me

Society, have mercy on me.
I hope you're not angry, if I disagree.

Society, crazy indeed.
I hope you're not lonely...without me.

So we are a crazy breed. Crazy indeed.

She goes..

"i know it's hard to forgive, and harder to forget.."
it is.
but i still miss you.

Raya

It felt so so good to the eyes seeing the kitchen spotless this morning. Aida and Hamdi slept over, maybe that's why. So we are in a good mood this morning. He was really hungry when he got up and I was so reluctant to go heat up food knowing how messy it'll be upstairs. But for the first time, we're impressed. Thank you.

Our raya was the best this year since celebrating without family. We had our friends over and hung out til almost 6pm. I wasted my time and energy worrying about them not eating rendang, kerutuk, lemang and ketupat. They loved it. I made BBQ and salads, just in case they can't handle our traditional food. And guess what, we ended up eating the BBQs as leftovers today. The rendang, kerutuk, ketupat and lemang? All gone. I managed only to 2 bites and he had one serving. Just before the last guest left, there's just enough for her to pack for Rachel (she was too tired to come from work). I love looking at Paul, Renae and Mike (although he just came back from the dentist for filling, i hope you didn't chip your tooth filling) especially, digging into our rendang and kerutuk. They even love the lemang! Hard to imagine, eh? Australians are a good breed. Well, at least our friends are. Then again, like us, they've been all over the world. They're all good travelers. Except Kate, she's vegetarian but she had helpings of lemangs, ketupat and kuah kacang (and yes Kate, the kuah kacang at the restaurants here are not what it is). I thought the kuah kacang would be too much for them to handle since it was rather spicy. Well, Rex looked a bit red but that didn't stop him from another helping. We brought our milk down to the table but no one touched it and I only used it with fondue. The rest of them are all good eaters. Sometimes I wonder if they're just saying it, or really the food was good. He said, judging from how they eat, and helpings they had, it's not hard to see. We managed to save some muffin-cakes (on his request) for us. Sorry Kate, I hope your dream of them last night lets you eat them as well. These people are high on our list the next time we entertain.

We hurried to Aunty Bedah's house after we cleaned up and with dear Lufee's help (thank you so much dear for helping us clean and sending us off), we managed to get there in time. We managed to take some ketupat for her and few ketupat palas (I purposely saved some upstairs for her). I honestly thought we'd manage to bring some rendang n kerutuk for her. Sorry aunty, next time maybe on raya haji. She made briyani and has rendang of her own. As usual, the best. Yummy. He had several helpings (well actually he polished them off) and I had twice. We met Aunty Dilla and her kids there. They live in Port Pirie.

I am impressed with Hamdi making tofee, traditionally. Boiling condensed milk from the can for hours. Mom would love this guy. Just how she loves my baby when I told her he made masak lemak cili api from looking at her making it last time she was around. Fresh and from scratch. I remember reading somewhere from one of chef books either Gordon Ramsay or Keith Floyd of another method making toffee, something like using fresh milk and boiling them with sugar. Can't quite recall. I should find it again and tell him about it. I made toffee candy once but not the creamy version.

So that's how our raya this year went. Lots of friends and luxurious food. Love it. This morning, after brunch, he played his guitar. While I browsed through my food mags. And I wonder, what more could I ask for for a relaxing Sunday.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!

p/s: b, you were great entertaining yesterday and your hospitality was excellent. i couldn't have done it without you. i am lucky to have you. very.

Raya Eve

He told me million times to give up on the plants and promise we'll get good ones when we move out. I'm still hanging on to them, watering everyday. It's time to let go now actually. Except for the parsley. They seem pretty allright. After the arrival of mama and papa last August, I've left the plants for more than a week without care. Poor thing.

Tomorrow is the big day. Made kerutuk daging and mom's rendang ayam raisins last night. Today I'll prepare the ketupat, lemang, ketupat palas, marinate my BBQ chicken, prepare salad and cake for dessert. Tomorrow morning after he leaves for raya prayers, I can finish off with the rest.

So this will be our first raya together, and the first time we entertain at home. Usually we either do it some where else or I cook and bring food to our guest's house. We try not to do at home, or at night, disturbing others. Or make huge mess in the kitchen (not that we ever do, he always cleans after we cook. Yes, always. Every time regardless when he's tired, busy or whatever the reasons are. That's probably why we get annoyed, sometimes) We'd rather entertain out than in. At times like these, I miss Meen. She always cleans after meals. And Suci, who mops all the time. They don't put food out, leftovers are always in the fridge. Dining table are always empty. I do miss our days in the kitchen in Cardwell. Our kitchen is always clean and Meen will have us all spring cleaning every 2 weeks. I'll have to say they're probably the best housemates ever lived with. That alone just show responsibilities and respect. I may loathe doing dishes, but I do mind living in them. So I do them, anyway. So other people in the house can use the pots and pans that we share comfortably (i know you don't like it when i do others b, but sometimes really, i can't stand it, overnight, fine, i'll live with that, but for days?) You're brought up in certain ways. Not minding who does dishes. I was brought up never to do anything. Literally, (so what, we'ver got maids to do them). But when living with others, I learn. I make mess, I clean. I eat, I clean. It's all a part of what mama and papa nags about. Responsibility and shame. So yeah, I can say. Though they spoil all three of us rotten, they brought us up well.

Adrian left yesterday and he msg-ed me on gmail saying how much he's suffering. Poor thing. So I thought to myself, what it'll be like leaving him behind. Yea, we've done and survived long distance before so what's a month or two being apart, eh? Sigh. I think I'll have a kid before that happens. To keep my mind off him and keep me on my toes. We'll see.

Believe it or not (i still can't), some where, some time, in my puny life, I've learned and made my own baju kurung. No, unfortunately I don't believe I've inherited mama's talented-crafty sewing hands. I just got curious. So that baju kurung is still in my wardrobe in Msia. I'm not sure when I'll be able to wear them again.

My curiosity does led me doing funny things, I believe. I organized and designed Makcha's wedding (it was so tiring but so so very very very satisfying). I had a burial for a monkey papa shot from stealing our rambutans in our backyard and took out all the rambutans in his mouth to know how many rambutans he could fit in his mouth. More than 20. And he had 7-8 bullets all over his body and 2 in the head. I can still remember how he looks like. His body was still warm. I entered a shooting competition (yes, with M16 rifles) and came out the first female sharp-shooter, and yes I think I got this from papa (i hope the trophy's still in Phg). I became a sargeant once and led a platoon for 'gerak tempur' some time back in high school (looooong ago). I entered a swimming competition not that I'm passionate about swimming, it was just hot and got 2nd place. I brought home a kid from the streets once because she said she's never been swimming. To see the look she had when she saw the pool, was so worth it. I took out my piggy bank money to treat some kids at school canteen because they said they didn't have money (today, i'm glad i did that because they really don't. i went to a primary-school with orang asli and very poor ppl. but when my parents found out about it, they were not very keen of the idea that time) I remember treating this 6 yr-old girl at recess a 20cents keropok because her older brother's a sissy. I thought she must be having a hard time with him.

Sharm's on her way. Gotta give her presents. Happy Hari Raya, people!

Known Better

I should have known. It's another drama created.
Something that should have been dealt with rationale, can become such a big thing when you leave it to her. And there she goes blaming everyone else.
*sigh*

Aching Heart

Woke up this morning to the news.
He has always had problems handling money. Ever since high school. Why is he not listening to you. Why does he need so much money. Why is there never enough what we give him. And why is everyone so soft around him.

Makcha clearly has been influenced by her by the time I call her.

The raya parcel has arrived yesterday.
I was excited to see 'Ketupat Palas'. It's good. All good.

Tagged!!

Okay you know that I don't usually do this. But I really can't go to bed right now. My tummy is still working hard digesting tonight's iftaar =p yes, if you must know, I stuffed myself well today. Thank you very much *sigh*

five things in my handbag
Unfortunately, I never got the hang of carrying a handbag often. At least not until I got my white-brown bag from Charlie Brown in Sydney and only because it's large enough to fit most my things in it. Even that doesn't go with me everywhere I go. So where do I keep my things? In the convenient pockets of my jeans or if I go out with him (he often carries a backpack), I stuff my things in his bag. Nevertheless, if I carry one these are the top five things in it.
1. my purse or most times I go out with just a credit/debit card and driving license stuffed in the back pocket of my jeans (which can make me frantically searching which jeans I left them in)
2. my handphone (sometimes it goes in my pocket, too)
3. iPod (never leave home without)
4. lip balm
5. palm-sized notebook

five things in my purse
1. my driving license
2. cash (I'm not sure if I can put this here. Most of my change is in the front pocket of my jeans together with crumpled notes)
3. ATM card and other credit cards
4. a number pictures of him
5. privilege cards

five favourite things in my bedroom
1. my library of food books/magazines
2. tv
3. our engagement picture
4. bean bag
5. guitar

five things i wish, would like, love to do
1. embark on my next journey
2. travel
3. get a feline friend
4. move in a place of our own
5. get the wedding preparations and ceremony over and done with

five things i'm doing right now
1. trying to sit up straight as long as I can to manage the tummy discomfort
2. thinking of my love ones in msia
3. planning raya
4. looking at him concentrating and working hard on his work
5. glimpsing occasionally at the tv

five people i'd like to tag
Like I said, I don't normally do these things and won't bother tagging other people doing it. Unless you've nothing else to do and wouldn't mind doing it, go ahead =)

Nitey nite!

Food

Menu for iftaar today:
Matthew Drennan's Chicken and Tiger Prawn Laksa. Only I didn't use tiger prawns, but replace them with banana prawns. And of course his version of laksa is nothing like the ever delicious laksa back home. Instead, it tastes more or so like creamy-tomyam-yellow-curry. Back home, our version of laksa would always be either the hot and sour (asam laksa) or the fishy flaky type. And of course the meat varies from chicken, beef, seafood, but the soup remains similar to one another. I am not a big fan of laksa but if I were to choose, laksa Pahang is top in my list. Especially when the noodles are homemade. The best thing about laksa Pahang is that you have to eat them with hands. Nothing beats that! (Makcik Leha makes the best laksa Pahang ever! And she makes them all herself including the noodles *yum*) It hurts just thinking about it.. sigh..

We bought a cheap food processor few weeks ago but I've yet try making anything with it. It's still in the box waiting to be unwrapped. That's the thing about Ramadhan here. There's less recipes to try. I should try making Ainsley's mayo for starters.

Usually our menu for iftaar or meal comes from him. Daily I'd ask what he wants for iftaar/dinner. The best part is when he asks for something that I've never tried before. Or when I've had too much meat then I wouldn't ask what he wants. Instead, I'll make salads or light meals from the library of food mags I collected throughout the years I spent here. Or we'd dig our heads inside our huge box of 'perencahs' and try to make use of them. I can't wait to finish them all. Next year, when we move into our own home, I'll get people to come over every other night and make them meals from the perencahs. A good way to finish the stock up. By then, I hope I've talked good sense to Papa and Mama not to send in anymore stock *cross fingers they'll listen* or I'll have to open a shop here and sell them all off.

Back home, every fast breaking time, Papa would ask me to make him 'Jemput Udang' (prawn fritters). And to him, only I know how to make them the way he likes them to be. Yesterday I made some for iftaar and I've forgotten how long it had been since the last time I made them for papa. Adik always gets 'roti jala' for his iftaar while abang scorfs down 'murtabak'. I get excited everytime the menu is noodles instead of rice. Anything besides rice, would pull me to the seat faster, those days.

Oh he's back! I've to warm up food now.
Happy Iftaar, ppl!

Companion

We so take people we love for granted. Just look at how we treat our parents. I think we can never fully repay them for what they have sacrificed and given us. Hence in this entry today, I'm gonna list down reasons why I love him so when I feel down or lonely, this will give me a good kick of reminder how lucky I am to have him. Thank you God for giving me this man to share the rest of my life with as a companion. My lifetime companion.

Top 27 reasons why I love him
1. I really have to thank God for giving me a man that is clean and cleans. I am such a messy person (have I mentioned how much I loathe doing dishes?), I embarass the nation. Once I told Adrian this and he goes, 'what nation? M'sia?' hehe.
2. There is never a thing as 'mine' or 'yours' in his vocabulary. It is and always have been 'ours'. And that, includes finances. *lucky, lucky me* =)
3. Oh and like papa, he splurges on me. He really can. But I sometimes have to beg him to let me buy him stuff . *weird, eh?*
4. Unlike me, he takes much longer to warm up and trust people. At times, (and with the kinda work I do) I think it is because I am easier, he gets cautious and takes longer. Sometimes waaaaaaayy too long, with certain people.
5. He is responsible and takes responsibility. Y'know the kind that's like, 'I used it, I wash it. I did it, I'm responsible for it.'
6. He makes hearty, rich chicken soup with love (as he calls it) when I get bad cramps. Only those who lives and have lived with me know how bad my cramps are everytime, on the first day.
7. Just like papa, he spoils me rotten sometimes.
8. He has no idea how smart he is. At times, really, I have to thank God! =)
9. I'm not sure if he got it from me, but we sure do have this love and curiousity for cooking.
10. We both love travelling. I do not know how I'd live with someone without.
11. He has absolutely no idea how much I love him =)
12. We both regard education at the highest of importance. Again, just like papa.
13. He stays home with me when I get bad cramps. Sometimes I think he likes spoiling me. But who's complaining? *wink wink*
14. He puts up with all my PMS crap. Exactly! I've no idea how he does it, either!
15. We've been together for more than 5 years. He knows me since I was rebellious, immature and oh such a bratty little girl. He knows all my dark, whacky, cuckoo side. And still loves me the same, if not more.
16. He has only, really, made me cry once. And that's not even something he did or can help it.
17. When we fight and I apologise first (which is something I rarely do, are you kidding? with my huge ego?) he would always say he's sorry too. Even when it's really, crystal clear, my fault. As if he can't stand it if I say I'm sorry by myself.
18. It only takes 2 seconds after we argue for us to laugh and make fun of the argument.
19. He has 1001 facial expressions that only I know of.
20. After years of learning psychology, he only took me 2 minutes to understand how powerful the mind is. If you want drama in your life, go ahead, you have the power to create or go without it. With the family, friends, and kind of work I do, trust me, I don't need any more dramas. They colour my world as it is, enough.
21. He reads my mind like a diary. It's so true sometimes it scares me.
22. Just to see a glimpse of him makes me smile. Everytime.
23. He pulls me back down to the ground everytime I get too high in the sky.
24. He plans and creates, sensibly.
25. He plays guitar beautifully. my heart will go on.......
26. He never fails to make me laugh and melts my heart. what can i say..? =)
27. He looks at me everyday - that way.

This list just comes off the top of my head, hence the odd number 27. I can go on, of course, but I think this is enough to make me remember.

Today, just like every day on my bad-cramp day, he stayed home from work and made me his chicken soup. Eventhough he's fasting today. You see how lucky I am? I must've done something good in my life to deserve all this. I must have. This is all the guilt, talking.

I have a feeling that this may be how it feels like during contractions. Only a hell lot worse. To all mommies out there (and that includes my beloved mama), if this is a minuscule to what you experience, just for today, only today, at this minuscule pain, I adore your strength, love, courage and pain.

Owwww.. it hurts..

Raya Goodies

It's good to see Kate and James again. She looks healthy and bubbly. I really hope she's very happy now. She writes, sings and plays her own songs. That is one ability that I will always, always envy her.

No matter how many times I told papa not to send in anything for raya, he called today to tell me he had sent off 5kg worth of raya stuff. 5kg!? Yes, he spoils me rotten. Papa will be papa. No matter what you/I say.

I came across a long time friend, my senior in high school. She has a twin and the older twin has passed away 2 years ago. I've no idea until today. No wonder they've been so quiet. I received an invitation to the younger twin's engagement ceremony several months back but unable to attend and asked her how her other twin is doing. I had no idea. She's struggling hard, now especially. Poor thing. I hope she gathers enough strength to get by everyday everytime it gets tough for her. *amin*

We couldn't attend Syar and Geoff's 'fast-breaking' tonight and instead managed to quickly whip up 'nasi dagang' for our iftaar. I wish I can make pulut kuning some time. Pulut kuning and rendang ayam *yummy*

*i hate it when we fight about the state of the kitchen.. absolutely*

Decisions.. decisions..

My mind is set.
I've made my decision.

I shall not turn or look back again.

papa sounded very happy

People

Have you ever met a person who talks just to make him/herself sound/look smart or rather, to show that they know a lot but really they've no idea at all? Yes, that Mr/Ms Know-It-All. Sometimes they create facts to make it sound interesting.

Funny that it actually backfires.
Stop embarrasing yourselves.

If you've nothing to say, don't say anything.
How people are afraid of silence.
Anyway, talk about the weather instead.
That always work =)