September

I am not a horoscopic/star sign reader. Rather, I very much prefer personality tests. I find them to be more accurate than this and it gives me a chance to give input and credit to myself rather than having to rely on astronomical positions to spit out my characters/luck for me.

Nevertheless, as personality tests are too confronting to some - and also through the massive amounts of junk mails sent by Kde - I stumbled across this small list that describes him a lot. We both are September babies and although we don't share the same star sign, there are many things we disagree about but mostly we do.

SEPTEMBER
* Suave and compromising
* Careful, cautious and organized
* Quiet but able to talk well
* Calm and cool
* Kind and sympathetic
* Concerned and detailed
* Trustworthy, loyal and honest
* Does work well
* Sensitive
* Thinker
* Good memory
* Clever and knowledgeable
* Loves to look for information
* Able to motivate oneself
* Understanding
* Secretive
* Loves sports, leisure and traveling
* Hardly shows emotions
* Tends to bottle up feelings

As for me, I can only leave it to others to judge.
I am who I am. And I am also who I think you think I am.

Hot Hot Hot

It's starting to warm up here. We took a stroll yesterday after he returned from work to the streets and parks behind the house. It was a lovely day yesterday also to find people walking or jogging around. Unlike strolling around the old place, there are not many Asians, kids, or Aboriginals in this area. Everyone's either dressed in a suit or working clothes. The closest family-joint we came across with are at Bocelli's where babies and kids running around. I can't wait to review the restaurants. Oh and I'd have to dry clean some of our clothes (we found 2 dry clean shops behind the house) and also to alter my pants before our holiday trip.

He left for work early this morning for a presentation but a bit later than usual now that he can walk to uni (and believe me, he hasn't stopped humming since the day we moved in). Few nights ago our neighbour had a party next door. Sharm called up for a drink but we weren't able to make it.

Mama has been making calls asking to buy her quilt materials and I can tell Papa can't wait for us to return home. There are so much arrangements and decisions to make.

I made Ainsley's muffins the other night to finish up our pineapple jam. And yes, I'm still cramping *ouch!*

White Lie

"Sometimes we're forced to bend the truth, transform it, cuz we're faced
with things that are not of our own making. And sometimes, things simply catch
up to us..."
"..Truth is still absolute, believe that. Even when that truth is hard and
cold and more painful than you ever imagined. And even when truth
is more cruel than any lie."
-taken from bugbitesandco (hope you don't mind! =)

She asked "kitorang ni teruk sgt ke?"
And I answered "to me, you guys are not bad at all"

I lied.

She was hurt and sad.
I couldn't even mutter the truth.

It could be better, I said to him in the morning when I knocked on his door.

But it didn't work out.
One day, you'll grow out of it all.

Home Sweet Home

Ok now that everything's settled, I've finally found time to update my blog and fuss about everything else. The feeling of unpacking our kitchen wares into our own cabinets are untold for. Couldn't help myself from telling him how good it feels. To see my beloved pots and pans, grill pan, baking wares, plates and bowls, cutleries.. sigh. I must say, it was surprising to see him making fun, humming and giggling through the whole process of moving out despite the muscle-aches and one day off work. Didn't think he'd be that happy. Only to find out he feels like being watched over living there. Honestly, I didn't feel that way til the other day when they came knocking on our door looking for him. She said she knew he'd be home coz she saw Adil and Haz went out. The odds? Highly. Only then I found out they keep track of who comes in, who goes out, who brings who in, where the cameras were, what time we get home, when do we go out etc etc. It is almost like living in a hostel, only without curfew. And they don't let you know, that they know. However, I must say, security's way good. Almost to excellent. If you're homesick, and want a lot of familiar malay faces, or love hanging around a bunch of students, that's the place to be. I suppose for a guy whom is wise enough to take care of himself, of course, he demands privacy and pure freedom so it can be a little tense to feel watched over every day.

As for me, of course I love it here. Big comfy bed, huge built-in robes, big windows and a balcony for fresh air, own laundry n dryer, large marble top for my bakings and kneadings, two huge sinks, good people, what else could I ask for. The first thing we did the first night was to order Dominos online and hear them ringing our door bell. Order-in food. Heaven =) Being able to buy anything I want comfortably and wear whatever I want without a care. In this home, we live with working people so day times are always quiet and empty which could be rather lonely at times but only if you hate being alone, that is. We only see each other at dinner time and on weekends. Night-ins are as early as 11pm and of course, we get to bring home whatever/whoever we want, that's the best part. Most importantly, it is understood perfectly that we have our own lives and they have theirs. So long no one's breathing down ours or theirs necks asking where we/they went or wanting us/them joining all our/their events, we're fine. Then again, they're too busy to give a damn about other people's affair so that's just perfect for us.

So our hang-out joint has changed to the street behind us and also the streets in front of us. More restaurants to review on and new grocery shopping joint. But of course, no place beats central market for their cheap and fresh goodies. I came across dear Lufee's cookbooks and that'll keep me busy for the next month. Rachel's father is a cook and I'm sure to get points from her soon too. He and Rachel have a lot in common in terms of their workload as both are phd research students. Now I understand b, how busy and in need of your own space at times.

The landlord and plumber came in this morning to repair our alarm system and shower cap. Oh, I've placed my parsley out in my balcony. It finally gets lots of warm sun and I forgot to water it today. Oh dear..

Uh-oh

I should go see a gynae.
It's tumbling inside.
Ouch!

Murtabak

So we've set up the dates and pack up some things that won't be using for the next very few days. I'm still wondering where we'll chuck his guitar and TV but we'll worry abt that later in the week. Had a good chat with darling suc last night, pestering me to get her 2 wedding presents (tak malu nyaa hehe), and making arrangements to my family's stay there. Also about what I'm to wear to all of her events. That girl makes me nervous sometimes.

With dear Aunty Bedah's help, I managed to whip up the long-craved-for murtabak. Of course, nothing beats the mamak's oily version but this one is enough to keep it off our minds temporarily.

Off to making passionfruit ice cream! =) *yum*

Ice Creams

Maggie Beer frustrates me with her party ice-cream recipe but Simon Bryant gave me an idea of a homemade ice cream waffle cone *yay*

I've started packing today. Tomorrow we'll look out for more boxes.

*also to call Makcha tonite and update her about my pulut kuning. it turned out all right =)*

Jitters

Keith Fechner is one of Australia's oldest baker around. A German-Australian, he produces a wide range of bread daily starting at 4am everyday baking with his wooden-scotch oven. He's 84 years old.
Australia has the best wheat to produce 'udon' noodles. They're exporting these Japanese traditional noodles to Japan now.

*i'm so nervous i could hardly taste what i had for dinner tonite. wish me luck tomorrow!*

Dream

Few years back in 2004, when I was back in Italy, we went to this restaurant in Milan and had 'bombas'. It's tiny balls of pizzas about the size of tennis balls wrapped in pizza dough. We had kiddie sized it because the amount they serve back there is huge! Spizzico was our favourite joint in Milan but they don't serve bombas or calzones, because their open pizzas are great! Yes, pizzas and pastas were our main dish when we were there.

They say if you love to travel, you'll love food. Or vice versa. For us, it's smack down true. Pastas are the easiest ever food anyone can make. Either white sauce or red. You can have it green or orange too. It won't be long before I try making my own pasta noodles. Only recently I found a recipe for bombas but it seemed different to the ones I had. I shall give it a try once we move out and get a proper kitchen. It was there I learnt about hens and eggs, how to cook them properly (the eggs i mean), and about meat. Contrary to popular beliefs (especially in the US and Aust now), spring lamb is tender but not as full of flavour as autumn lamb. Papa enjoyed talking to the butchers there.

Like Papa, I wish I can get hold of some animals and farm them to consumption. He farmed cows once upon a time ago and I don't remember if they are still there or has he sold them all off. Maybe when I earn a bit more and settled down properly, I'll get a couple of hens for their eggs. My uncle (Encik) used to farm lambs, chickens, pheasants and I remember he has a couple of peacocks just for show. Oh there are ducks and geese too. His backyard is enormous, hilly and green. I think he was inspired while living in New Zealand. And plus he's a veterinarian too. But no, I don't wish to farm that much. A couple of hens will do for me. And a small land for my herbs and greeneries. Also a few small logs for growing edible mushrooms. If he's creative and diligent enough, I'll let him build me an outdoor oven. No, not buy. Build. With our own bare hands. That'll do.

My dream way of living.

Fly Away with Me

So it's that time of the year again. Once again, this ending of the year and opening of the new year I'd be flying off here and there. Luckily it wouldn't be as much as the last. There'd be few new places and long-timed faces to meet. And the best part is, instead of travelling single like most of the years, I'll have company this year. We even have a small holiday together. I call it our 'pre-honeymoon'. Like an engagement honeymoon. That sounds nice. So if I didn't get a honeymoon after the wedding (we've yet to decide about this), I wouldn't be disappointed =)

*thank you, b*

I've been doing some shopping-frenzy lately. So many things to buy, so much to do. Now that we've confirmed our plans, there are a list of things to do before our pre-honeymoon. It's a good thing we've a date. Now I can calculate how much longer I have to put up with a dirty kitchen, and when to get out of here. Thinking about it, it's not too bad actually. Not much longer. Still, I can't wait! =) Oh Syar and I share the same ideas about dishes. We hate them so when we cook, we either wash them up straight away after use or we use as little pots and pans we can. That's why we don't mind doing our own dishes. But not others. And we can't stand leftover food and dirty dishes lying around. Feels good venting out to you, Syar. A good lending ear. Thank you.

The deep sour apple pie turned out to be good. But it still isn't the kind of pie I was looking for. Aunty Bedah taught us to make murtabak from spring rolls sheets. I'm not so sure how ours will turn out, though. My handphone's still crazy. Maybe it's a sign to get a new one, eh b. I said, just maybe =)

Over the weekend I tried on a Thai pumpkin curry. Poor thing my baby doesn't like pumpkin so I put in other seafood and mushrooms. It was good, eh. Then sometime before that I made kedgeree with salmon. I still haven't tried pulut kuning. Makcha called the other day asking how mine went, and when I told her I haven't tried yet, she went ballistic. I've heard her like that so many times before that it sounds like music to my ears now. It's pretty funny too. And I love her when she does that. It makes her more motherly to me. This year I realize that I'm missing her much more than before. I talk about her more, I call her more often. And I can't wait for us to spend time with her, b. She amuses me everytime.

Crazy Handphone

Yesterday when I woke up and he had gone to work, I realized my handphone is going nuts. So trying hard not to think or fondle it too much, I put on my robe and marched to the kitchen for a peek (yes, I peek first). No leftovers or dirty pots and pans lying nearby. Luckily it was bearable enough for today's project, Ainsley's deep sour apple pie. Good thing it only requires a food processor, kitchen bench and oven. Stove is dirty and oily but for this project, I don't need to use that area.

By the time I finished, it is still a bit whacko. I tried at my best of knowledge and little experience to fix it. After half an hour later, I gave up. Once again, I head to the kitchen to fix dinner. Stacked off all the dishes away to start doing my dishes after cooking, it beeped. I let it be. Then while cleaning up (the area of the one and only stove I used), it beeped again. I knew someone's trying to get to me. Hours later, after dinner, papa called. He's been trying to get to me hours ago and unfortunately I didn't get any of his calls nor voice mails. Not even SMS.

It's official, my handphone has gone haywire. Sigh.

Tickets

I feel much much better now that we've bought our tickets and confirmed our plans. It really was a spur of the moment thing. The last time I went on an on-the-spot trip was with Jules and Izmia. We bought the next ticket out and had only hours to pack. Without plans, without any idea where to stay, what to eat or where to go. Heck, neither of us ever been there! And til today, we still talk about the trip in our daily conversation. It was great.

All I've to do now is count the days =) can't wait!!

Exams

To those busy preparing for exams. Best of luck!

9th month

Now I remember what we did on our 8-month anniversary. We went Mapo!

Today I tried making kedgeree with fresh fish stock for brunch. We were supposed to go to the floral exhibition park but it is darn hot hot hot today. Instead, we'll go out for dinner as we usually do.

I asked before we got engaged if we will be able to go out clubbing after we get married. His answer is yes. And still is. Since we got engaged, I can count with my fingers the times we went. I'm not entirely sure how it got from then to now. Perhaps I grew out of it. Or it's him filling up my time with better things to do. So few days ago after a long while, a number of friends and us went out but instead of hanging out til late, we headed home not long after the crowd started filling in the club. I guess it's no longer a thing for us. It no longer seem exciting to us anymore. Our activities doesn't seem to surround what's hip to do among our friends or of what's the talk of the town about. Our interest shifted to activities that can be enjoyed together or what we both like to do. Hanging out with friends till wee hours in the morning slowly became something of 'been there, done that', nothing to be impressed about or a 'want-to-do' anymore. Sure we love hanging out with good friends for few hours in the day or at night but there will always be a night-cap just for the two of us alone, enjoying each other's company.

So perhaps this is what lifetime companion is about. Without notice, he becomes my best friend. No longer just a person whom I rely on or be relied of. No more just someone anticipating expectations of, or responsibilities to. No longer just the person who is there and will be there through my ups and down. No longer just my other shadow or just my better half. He is also the person I share my boredom hours, my night and day. So we hear people saying they cannot stand being together or of each other's company for more than 4 days, they need to get away from each other for a bit. I hope that doesn't happen to us, b. I hope I will always miss and wish you're here with me whenever we're apart. I hope you will always have that big smile on your face like when you feel so glad to see me, like the one you always have whenever you see me everyday after you return from work. I wondered myself long ago, what would it be like 30 (i once spontaneously asked if he'd live with me for the next 30 years, he said, make it 50 =) to 50 years from now if I'm still alive, will I be able to enjoy spending time and lazy days with him. Would we be able to enjoy each other's company together.

I hope we will.
I sure hope so too.

Happy 9-months Anniversary, b.

Pulut Kuning

I knew if I call mama she'd come up with a long, weary, but traditional way of making pulut kuning. And I was right. In fact, bibik happened to make good pulut kuning recently. Luckily, I have a second mother, Makcha (whom never fails to make me laugh heartily every time we talk). She gave me the instant way. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore the traditional way and intend to keep it going throughout my generation. But this time I'm only making for two and it'll be my first time so this is the way to go.

Good luck to me!

Brothers

Suci just called asking us to take a look at her brother. He has not been sleeping and had blacked out. I'm waiting for him to get off the phone with Abg Yusry so I can call him and tell him we're coming over now.

Sigh.
Brothers.

Go Crazy with Creativity

Thanks to my beloved, years back (yes, when he was flirtatious and working his charm =) and I was young and couldn't care less), he handed me his comic collections of Neil Gaiman (which he bought and collected religiously, while living in the UK) and one of them I remember reading over and over again is today's new movie, Stardust. Of course at the time I used a lot of my imagination with the help of those little comic illustrations, but it was really good. Almost to nothing compared to the movie is today. Watching it, I thought to myself, I prefer my own imagination. So I vow (like I had always done) not to watch movies I've read before anymore. But I can't help making comparisons. Like how I compared Disneyworld to Euro Disney and Europa Park when I was a kid (and got into a huge kiddie argument with my cousin, Shareena who lived there at the time). Floriade in Amsterdam to Sydney's. Maybe that's why I'm not so much of a movie buff. It spoils my imagination.

On the way home we talked about work. He said work will never be enjoyable, because it is work. It's exciting the beginning few months, then it becomes a routine. I've always thought with 8 working hours 5 times a week, most of my life would be about and of work. So if I don't enjoy work, then I won't enjoy life. Bill Grainger said, "I'm not a person who if work was boring or anything was not working, I would just keep on doing it." Brought me to thinking, it doesn't have to be boring. Or anything. It's just opportunities. If you think about it, then it becomes something.

We had a late night snack at The Coffee Club. John Torode made a point. It's next to shame of what's coming up from Britain and Europe. Pretty much the same menu wherever you go here. But I've only been to few places in Australia. Not my place to judge. As far I'm concerned, Adelaide's pretty much same ol same.

Guess what. The Hairy Biker's Ride Again cookbook came up as one of the top ten! Oh dear. At the meantime, what I enjoy most is cooking. How long it'll last, I don't know. Maybe it'll wear off at some time, maybe it won't. All I know, right now, I'm enjoying it for what it is. Lufee asked why I haven't been baking lately. To be honest, I'm pretty disgusted to bake/cook. I'd rather dine out. The ants are coming up to the kitchen bench and stove now. They said, it's summer coming. Summer came and left when we first arrived here and no ants crawled everywhere. I think because of all the leftover food left on the tables and counter, and not wiping the counter after each use. When I used to bake earlier, I wipe the kitchen bench every time. First the ants came up to the table in front of the tv, where food and dishes were left there for days sometimes, and now it's coming up to the kitchen and stove. We've stopped cleaning up after them. I'm starting to feel we're being taken for granted. And I absolutely, absolutely hate that feeling. Garbage hasn't been thrown out for a week now. We've done our 2-weeks agreement. We're done. I've taken my flour and baking goodies into the cabinet again. We had an agreement, but I guess we're not keeping to it. I'm sick of making excuses to him. I'm sorry baby, I didn't know when I asked you to move in with them, you signed up a contract living with filth. I really didn't know.

*i do hate this feeling. absolutely hate this feeling*

Smile

have you smiled a small smile..
the kinda smile that you don't notice til few seconds later.
then when you realize you're smiling, it stretches to a wider smile.
infectious.

that moment just happened a while ago.
thank you, suc for making it happen today.

the answer is, yes.

Signs

So she called late at night,
asking "why can't I be alone, why it doesn't feel right"
and I said, hush now beloved friend,
because we are human, we need each other til the end.

She said he had a dream last nigt. About her getting married to someone else and he ended up cheating on her with her colleague. So she worry herself sick if that dream's a sign for them.

That's the thing with signs.
I believe signs to be God's way telling us things.
I also believe signs are incidental.
Sometimes I follow them. Sometimes I don't.
Other times I don't notice them, other times I leave them be.
Often I find myself picking them up, then I putting them back down again.
I don't live my life ruled entirely by them.
I don't take everything as a sign and live according to them.
Because I also believe that that would drive me insane.

Let me get hurt sometimes,
and crash to the ground,
cry a little, and die just a little.
To make me grateful for the little I have,
and cherish the small I encounter.
Make me treasure the pleasure,
and endure the pain.

However..
that's how I live my life to be.
Also because simplicity is a desirable word for me.

Into the wild

Oh it's a mystery to me.
We have a greed, with which we have agreed...
and you think you have to want more than you need...
until you have it all, you won't be free.

Society, you're a crazy breed.
I hope you're not lonely, without me.
When you want more than you have, you think you need...
and when you think more than you want, your thoughts begin to bleed.
I think I need to find a bigger place...
cause when you have more than you think, you need more space.

Society, you're a crazy breed.
I hope you're not lonely, without me.
Society, crazy indeed...
I hope you're not lonely, without me.

There's those thinkin' more or less, less is more,
but if less is more, how you keepin' score?
It means for every point you make,
your level drops.
Kinda like you're startin' from the top...
and you can't do that.

Society, you're a crazy breed.
I hope you're not lonely, without me.

Society, crazy indeed...
I hope you're not lonely, without me

Society, have mercy on me.
I hope you're not angry, if I disagree.

Society, crazy indeed.
I hope you're not lonely...without me.

So we are a crazy breed. Crazy indeed.