"One true sign of adulthood is the ability to hold a broad range of emotions inside and still function. As life happens, we react with some degree of pleasure or pain, perhaps a blend of the two. And while we all share the same repertoire of emotions, what sets us apart from another is the extent to which we can hold them inside, identify them correctly, and then act or not act in a way that best serves our interests" -Charles Spezzano
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Ice Creams
I've started packing today. Tomorrow we'll look out for more boxes.
*also to call Makcha tonite and update her about my pulut kuning. it turned out all right =)*
Monday, October 29, 2007
Jitters
Australia has the best wheat to produce 'udon' noodles. They're exporting these Japanese traditional noodles to Japan now.
*i'm so nervous i could hardly taste what i had for dinner tonite. wish me luck tomorrow!*
Friday, October 26, 2007
Dream
They say if you love to travel, you'll love food. Or vice versa. For us, it's smack down true. Pastas are the easiest ever food anyone can make. Either white sauce or red. You can have it green or orange too. It won't be long before I try making my own pasta noodles. Only recently I found a recipe for bombas but it seemed different to the ones I had. I shall give it a try once we move out and get a proper kitchen. It was there I learnt about hens and eggs, how to cook them properly (the eggs i mean), and about meat. Contrary to popular beliefs (especially in the US and Aust now), spring lamb is tender but not as full of flavour as autumn lamb. Papa enjoyed talking to the butchers there.
Like Papa, I wish I can get hold of some animals and farm them to consumption. He farmed cows once upon a time ago and I don't remember if they are still there or has he sold them all off. Maybe when I earn a bit more and settled down properly, I'll get a couple of hens for their eggs. My uncle (Encik) used to farm lambs, chickens, pheasants and I remember he has a couple of peacocks just for show. Oh there are ducks and geese too. His backyard is enormous, hilly and green. I think he was inspired while living in New Zealand. And plus he's a veterinarian too. But no, I don't wish to farm that much. A couple of hens will do for me. And a small land for my herbs and greeneries. Also a few small logs for growing edible mushrooms. If he's creative and diligent enough, I'll let him build me an outdoor oven. No, not buy. Build. With our own bare hands. That'll do.
My dream way of living.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Fly Away with Me
*thank you, b*
I've been doing some shopping-frenzy lately. So many things to buy, so much to do. Now that we've confirmed our plans, there are a list of things to do before our pre-honeymoon. It's a good thing we've a date. Now I can calculate how much longer I have to put up with a dirty kitchen, and when to get out of here. Thinking about it, it's not too bad actually. Not much longer. Still, I can't wait! =) Oh Syar and I share the same ideas about dishes. We hate them so when we cook, we either wash them up straight away after use or we use as little pots and pans we can. That's why we don't mind doing our own dishes. But not others. And we can't stand leftover food and dirty dishes lying around. Feels good venting out to you, Syar. A good lending ear. Thank you.
The deep sour apple pie turned out to be good. But it still isn't the kind of pie I was looking for. Aunty Bedah taught us to make murtabak from spring rolls sheets. I'm not so sure how ours will turn out, though. My handphone's still crazy. Maybe it's a sign to get a new one, eh b. I said, just maybe =)
Over the weekend I tried on a Thai pumpkin curry. Poor thing my baby doesn't like pumpkin so I put in other seafood and mushrooms. It was good, eh. Then sometime before that I made kedgeree with salmon. I still haven't tried pulut kuning. Makcha called the other day asking how mine went, and when I told her I haven't tried yet, she went ballistic. I've heard her like that so many times before that it sounds like music to my ears now. It's pretty funny too. And I love her when she does that. It makes her more motherly to me. This year I realize that I'm missing her much more than before. I talk about her more, I call her more often. And I can't wait for us to spend time with her, b. She amuses me everytime.
Crazy Handphone
By the time I finished, it is still a bit whacko. I tried at my best of knowledge and little experience to fix it. After half an hour later, I gave up. Once again, I head to the kitchen to fix dinner. Stacked off all the dishes away to start doing my dishes after cooking, it beeped. I let it be. Then while cleaning up (the area of the one and only stove I used), it beeped again. I knew someone's trying to get to me. Hours later, after dinner, papa called. He's been trying to get to me hours ago and unfortunately I didn't get any of his calls nor voice mails. Not even SMS.
It's official, my handphone has gone haywire. Sigh.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Tickets
All I've to do now is count the days =) can't wait!!
Monday, October 22, 2007
Saturday, October 20, 2007
9th month
Today I tried making kedgeree with fresh fish stock for brunch. We were supposed to go to the floral exhibition park but it is darn hot hot hot today. Instead, we'll go out for dinner as we usually do.
I asked before we got engaged if we will be able to go out clubbing after we get married. His answer is yes. And still is. Since we got engaged, I can count with my fingers the times we went. I'm not entirely sure how it got from then to now. Perhaps I grew out of it. Or it's him filling up my time with better things to do. So few days ago after a long while, a number of friends and us went out but instead of hanging out til late, we headed home not long after the crowd started filling in the club. I guess it's no longer a thing for us. It no longer seem exciting to us anymore. Our activities doesn't seem to surround what's hip to do among our friends or of what's the talk of the town about. Our interest shifted to activities that can be enjoyed together or what we both like to do. Hanging out with friends till wee hours in the morning slowly became something of 'been there, done that', nothing to be impressed about or a 'want-to-do' anymore. Sure we love hanging out with good friends for few hours in the day or at night but there will always be a night-cap just for the two of us alone, enjoying each other's company.
So perhaps this is what lifetime companion is about. Without notice, he becomes my best friend. No longer just a person whom I rely on or be relied of. No more just someone anticipating expectations of, or responsibilities to. No longer just the person who is there and will be there through my ups and down. No longer just my other shadow or just my better half. He is also the person I share my boredom hours, my night and day. So we hear people saying they cannot stand being together or of each other's company for more than 4 days, they need to get away from each other for a bit. I hope that doesn't happen to us, b. I hope I will always miss and wish you're here with me whenever we're apart. I hope you will always have that big smile on your face like when you feel so glad to see me, like the one you always have whenever you see me everyday after you return from work. I wondered myself long ago, what would it be like 30 (i once spontaneously asked if he'd live with me for the next 30 years, he said, make it 50 =) to 50 years from now if I'm still alive, will I be able to enjoy spending time and lazy days with him. Would we be able to enjoy each other's company together.
I hope we will.
I sure hope so too.
Happy 9-months Anniversary, b.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Pulut Kuning
Good luck to me!
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Brothers
Sigh.
Brothers.
Go Crazy with Creativity
On the way home we talked about work. He said work will never be enjoyable, because it is work. It's exciting the beginning few months, then it becomes a routine. I've always thought with 8 working hours 5 times a week, most of my life would be about and of work. So if I don't enjoy work, then I won't enjoy life. Bill Grainger said, "I'm not a person who if work was boring or anything was not working, I would just keep on doing it." Brought me to thinking, it doesn't have to be boring. Or anything. It's just opportunities. If you think about it, then it becomes something.
We had a late night snack at The Coffee Club. John Torode made a point. It's next to shame of what's coming up from Britain and Europe. Pretty much the same menu wherever you go here. But I've only been to few places in Australia. Not my place to judge. As far I'm concerned, Adelaide's pretty much same ol same.
Guess what. The Hairy Biker's Ride Again cookbook came up as one of the top ten! Oh dear. At the meantime, what I enjoy most is cooking. How long it'll last, I don't know. Maybe it'll wear off at some time, maybe it won't. All I know, right now, I'm enjoying it for what it is. Lufee asked why I haven't been baking lately. To be honest, I'm pretty disgusted to bake/cook. I'd rather dine out. The ants are coming up to the kitchen bench and stove now. They said, it's summer coming. Summer came and left when we first arrived here and no ants crawled everywhere. I think because of all the leftover food left on the tables and counter, and not wiping the counter after each use. When I used to bake earlier, I wipe the kitchen bench every time. First the ants came up to the table in front of the tv, where food and dishes were left there for days sometimes, and now it's coming up to the kitchen and stove. We've stopped cleaning up after them. I'm starting to feel we're being taken for granted. And I absolutely, absolutely hate that feeling. Garbage hasn't been thrown out for a week now. We've done our 2-weeks agreement. We're done. I've taken my flour and baking goodies into the cabinet again. We had an agreement, but I guess we're not keeping to it. I'm sick of making excuses to him. I'm sorry baby, I didn't know when I asked you to move in with them, you signed up a contract living with filth. I really didn't know.
*i do hate this feeling. absolutely hate this feeling*
Monday, October 15, 2007
Smile
the kinda smile that you don't notice til few seconds later.
then when you realize you're smiling, it stretches to a wider smile.
infectious.
that moment just happened a while ago.
thank you, suc for making it happen today.
the answer is, yes.
Signs
asking "why can't I be alone, why it doesn't feel right"
and I said, hush now beloved friend,
because we are human, we need each other til the end.
She said he had a dream last nigt. About her getting married to someone else and he ended up cheating on her with her colleague. So she worry herself sick if that dream's a sign for them.
That's the thing with signs.
I believe signs to be God's way telling us things.
I also believe signs are incidental.
Sometimes I follow them. Sometimes I don't.
Other times I don't notice them, other times I leave them be.
Often I find myself picking them up, then I putting them back down again.
I don't live my life ruled entirely by them.
I don't take everything as a sign and live according to them.
Because I also believe that that would drive me insane.
Let me get hurt sometimes,
and crash to the ground,
cry a little, and die just a little.
To make me grateful for the little I have,
and cherish the small I encounter.
Make me treasure the pleasure,
and endure the pain.
However..
that's how I live my life to be.
Also because simplicity is a desirable word for me.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Into the wild
Oh it's a mystery to me.
We have a greed, with which we have agreed...
and you think you have to want more than you need...
until you have it all, you won't be free.
Society, you're a crazy breed.
I hope you're not lonely, without me.
When you want more than you have, you think you need...
and when you think more than you want, your thoughts begin to bleed.
I think I need to find a bigger place...
cause when you have more than you think, you need more space.
Society, you're a crazy breed.
I hope you're not lonely, without me.
Society, crazy indeed...
I hope you're not lonely, without me.
There's those thinkin' more or less, less is more,
but if less is more, how you keepin' score?
It means for every point you make,
your level drops.
Kinda like you're startin' from the top...
and you can't do that.
Society, you're a crazy breed.
I hope you're not lonely, without me.
Society, crazy indeed...
I hope you're not lonely, without me
Society, have mercy on me.
I hope you're not angry, if I disagree.
Society, crazy indeed.
I hope you're not lonely...without me.
So we are a crazy breed. Crazy indeed.
Raya
Our raya was the best this year since celebrating without family. We had our friends over and hung out til almost 6pm. I wasted my time and energy worrying about them not eating rendang, kerutuk, lemang and ketupat. They loved it. I made BBQ and salads, just in case they can't handle our traditional food. And guess what, we ended up eating the BBQs as leftovers today. The rendang, kerutuk, ketupat and lemang? All gone. I managed only to 2 bites and he had one serving. Just before the last guest left, there's just enough for her to pack for Rachel (she was too tired to come from work). I love looking at Paul, Renae and Mike (although he just came back from the dentist for filling, i hope you didn't chip your tooth filling) especially, digging into our rendang and kerutuk. They even love the lemang! Hard to imagine, eh? Australians are a good breed. Well, at least our friends are. Then again, like us, they've been all over the world. They're all good travelers. Except Kate, she's vegetarian but she had helpings of lemangs, ketupat and kuah kacang (and yes Kate, the kuah kacang at the restaurants here are not what it is). I thought the kuah kacang would be too much for them to handle since it was rather spicy. Well, Rex looked a bit red but that didn't stop him from another helping. We brought our milk down to the table but no one touched it and I only used it with fondue. The rest of them are all good eaters. Sometimes I wonder if they're just saying it, or really the food was good. He said, judging from how they eat, and helpings they had, it's not hard to see. We managed to save some muffin-cakes (on his request) for us. Sorry Kate, I hope your dream of them last night lets you eat them as well. These people are high on our list the next time we entertain.
We hurried to Aunty Bedah's house after we cleaned up and with dear Lufee's help (thank you so much dear for helping us clean and sending us off), we managed to get there in time. We managed to take some ketupat for her and few ketupat palas (I purposely saved some upstairs for her). I honestly thought we'd manage to bring some rendang n kerutuk for her. Sorry aunty, next time maybe on raya haji. She made briyani and has rendang of her own. As usual, the best. Yummy. He had several helpings (well actually he polished them off) and I had twice. We met Aunty Dilla and her kids there. They live in Port Pirie.
I am impressed with Hamdi making tofee, traditionally. Boiling condensed milk from the can for hours. Mom would love this guy. Just how she loves my baby when I told her he made masak lemak cili api from looking at her making it last time she was around. Fresh and from scratch. I remember reading somewhere from one of chef books either Gordon Ramsay or Keith Floyd of another method making toffee, something like using fresh milk and boiling them with sugar. Can't quite recall. I should find it again and tell him about it. I made toffee candy once but not the creamy version.
So that's how our raya this year went. Lots of friends and luxurious food. Love it. This morning, after brunch, he played his guitar. While I browsed through my food mags. And I wonder, what more could I ask for for a relaxing Sunday.
Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!
p/s: b, you were great entertaining yesterday and your hospitality was excellent. i couldn't have done it without you. i am lucky to have you. very.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Raya Eve
Tomorrow is the big day. Made kerutuk daging and mom's rendang ayam raisins last night. Today I'll prepare the ketupat, lemang, ketupat palas, marinate my BBQ chicken, prepare salad and cake for dessert. Tomorrow morning after he leaves for raya prayers, I can finish off with the rest.
So this will be our first raya together, and the first time we entertain at home. Usually we either do it some where else or I cook and bring food to our guest's house. We try not to do at home, or at night, disturbing others. Or make huge mess in the kitchen (not that we ever do, he always cleans after we cook. Yes, always. Every time regardless when he's tired, busy or whatever the reasons are. That's probably why we get annoyed, sometimes) We'd rather entertain out than in. At times like these, I miss Meen. She always cleans after meals. And Suci, who mops all the time. They don't put food out, leftovers are always in the fridge. Dining table are always empty. I do miss our days in the kitchen in Cardwell. Our kitchen is always clean and Meen will have us all spring cleaning every 2 weeks. I'll have to say they're probably the best housemates ever lived with. That alone just show responsibilities and respect. I may loathe doing dishes, but I do mind living in them. So I do them, anyway. So other people in the house can use the pots and pans that we share comfortably (i know you don't like it when i do others b, but sometimes really, i can't stand it, overnight, fine, i'll live with that, but for days?) You're brought up in certain ways. Not minding who does dishes. I was brought up never to do anything. Literally, (so what, we'ver got maids to do them). But when living with others, I learn. I make mess, I clean. I eat, I clean. It's all a part of what mama and papa nags about. Responsibility and shame. So yeah, I can say. Though they spoil all three of us rotten, they brought us up well.
Adrian left yesterday and he msg-ed me on gmail saying how much he's suffering. Poor thing. So I thought to myself, what it'll be like leaving him behind. Yea, we've done and survived long distance before so what's a month or two being apart, eh? Sigh. I think I'll have a kid before that happens. To keep my mind off him and keep me on my toes. We'll see.
Believe it or not (i still can't), some where, some time, in my puny life, I've learned and made my own baju kurung. No, unfortunately I don't believe I've inherited mama's talented-crafty sewing hands. I just got curious. So that baju kurung is still in my wardrobe in Msia. I'm not sure when I'll be able to wear them again.
My curiosity does led me doing funny things, I believe. I organized and designed Makcha's wedding (it was so tiring but so so very very very satisfying). I had a burial for a monkey papa shot from stealing our rambutans in our backyard and took out all the rambutans in his mouth to know how many rambutans he could fit in his mouth. More than 20. And he had 7-8 bullets all over his body and 2 in the head. I can still remember how he looks like. His body was still warm. I entered a shooting competition (yes, with M16 rifles) and came out the first female sharp-shooter, and yes I think I got this from papa (i hope the trophy's still in Phg). I became a sargeant once and led a platoon for 'gerak tempur' some time back in high school (looooong ago). I entered a swimming competition not that I'm passionate about swimming, it was just hot and got 2nd place. I brought home a kid from the streets once because she said she's never been swimming. To see the look she had when she saw the pool, was so worth it. I took out my piggy bank money to treat some kids at school canteen because they said they didn't have money (today, i'm glad i did that because they really don't. i went to a primary-school with orang asli and very poor ppl. but when my parents found out about it, they were not very keen of the idea that time) I remember treating this 6 yr-old girl at recess a 20cents keropok because her older brother's a sissy. I thought she must be having a hard time with him.
Sharm's on her way. Gotta give her presents. Happy Hari Raya, people!
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Known Better
Something that should have been dealt with rationale, can become such a big thing when you leave it to her. And there she goes blaming everyone else.
*sigh*
Aching Heart
He has always had problems handling money. Ever since high school. Why is he not listening to you. Why does he need so much money. Why is there never enough what we give him. And why is everyone so soft around him.
Makcha clearly has been influenced by her by the time I call her.
The raya parcel has arrived yesterday.
I was excited to see 'Ketupat Palas'. It's good. All good.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Tagged!!
five things in my handbag
Unfortunately, I never got the hang of carrying a handbag often. At least not until I got my white-brown bag from Charlie Brown in Sydney and only because it's large enough to fit most my things in it. Even that doesn't go with me everywhere I go. So where do I keep my things? In the convenient pockets of my jeans or if I go out with him (he often carries a backpack), I stuff my things in his bag. Nevertheless, if I carry one these are the top five things in it.
1. my purse or most times I go out with just a credit/debit card and driving license stuffed in the back pocket of my jeans (which can make me frantically searching which jeans I left them in)
2. my handphone (sometimes it goes in my pocket, too)
3. iPod (never leave home without)
4. lip balm
5. palm-sized notebook
five things in my purse
1. my driving license
2. cash (I'm not sure if I can put this here. Most of my change is in the front pocket of my jeans together with crumpled notes)
3. ATM card and other credit cards
4. a number pictures of him
5. privilege cards
five favourite things in my bedroom
1. my library of food books/magazines
2. tv
3. our engagement picture
4. bean bag
5. guitar
five things i wish, would like, love to do
1. embark on my next journey
2. travel
3. get a feline friend
4. move in a place of our own
5. get the wedding preparations and ceremony over and done with
five things i'm doing right now
1. trying to sit up straight as long as I can to manage the tummy discomfort
2. thinking of my love ones in msia
3. planning raya
4. looking at him concentrating and working hard on his work
5. glimpsing occasionally at the tv
five people i'd like to tag
Like I said, I don't normally do these things and won't bother tagging other people doing it. Unless you've nothing else to do and wouldn't mind doing it, go ahead =)
Nitey nite!
