Approved!!

So once again I had disappeared and abandoned this blog for few months.

But today I'm back!
And with super good news too. Our residency application has been approved! We're now waiting for the official letter and then we can start planning our next move. Exciting!!

Well okay first things first.
New Year's Resolution.
1. To cook more often at home
2. To resign from current job
3. To have this BIG move we've planned about
4. Drink more water
5. Travel
6. Plan for #2
7. Spend more time with Mia

Almost half of the list is ticked off. And it's only the second month of 2013!!

Unlike last year, things are looking high up for us this year. Last year we were slammed down with hospital visits, news, health issues right, left and center. Most importantly, we were surrounded with each other. That counts the most :)

So yesterday was Valentines Day and our big news was enough to put smiles and grins on our faces the entire day. No amount of flowers or meals could beat how elated we are right now about it. We sure have a lot to look forward to this year and as with all plans in life, we hope to achieve them. Alhamdulillah and Insyallah. 

Bday pressie :)

So yesterday I received this gorgeous iPhone S4 as a be-earlied bday pressie and i'm lovin it!! :) I know it's so close to the release of iPhone 5 but I'm not going to whine abt it. This is great! Of course one of the few things I explored with are the twitter and appstore pf course. And because I use google docs few hours daily, it makes sense to also check that out as well. And now to testing if I can blog better, which as you can see here is allllll well ;) hoping to be updating here more often now *wink* til yhe

Fighting Henoch Schonlein Purpura Disease

There were many times I wish to turn to this blog and document my thoughts. Most times only thoughts rushes by. And heart wearies with emotions. There were just no words to describe. Only feelings and mostly pain. So I guess there are things where only the heart knows. And not the mind.

Sometimes I wonder if Mia will ever read my posts here. If I will ever allow her to. And will she understand, forgive and accepts that I am only human. I wish she doesn't see me as a superhero. Although I try to be strong for her. I just hope it doesn't come across as something she wants to or have to turn out to be.

I may be strong. Actually I do think I am. I don't think many people who had gone through my life would turn out to be like me. It was a hell of a journey. And it is not common at all. But that doesn't mean that I don't let myself go sometimes. There are many moments when I'd cry myself senseless at the world. My world. Once again, I am only human.

Less than a month ago Mia was diagnosed with Henoch Schonlein Purpura disease. It started when her left ankle was swollen without reason. We thought she must've sprained it since she is in the jumping phase. We had not witnessed a fall. One Sunday (June 17th) afternoon she said her leg hurts. The same night before getting ready for bed, she said she cannot walk. Her ankle was swollen. Rushed to Pantai Hosp and did an x-ray. The doctor said there were no traces of fracture so they'll treat it as a sprain. They arm us with pain-killers and bandaged her ankle. She was also referred to an ortho for a follow up. The following day the swelling subsided and she can walk again. Occasionally she'd complain it hurts. She also develop skin rash which I had thought from the bandages but strangely it was on both lower legs. I had assumed she had scratched them so bad that the other leg had also suffered the rash. On Tuesday she had a fever. On Thursday (June 21st) we went for the ortho appointment in the morning. And she was clear to go to school in the afternoon. On Friday (June 22nd) afternoon when I had collected her from school, her right knee was swollen, it was warm to touch. Her teacher said it happened after she woke up from her nap time. She wasn't doing anything physical.

Once again we rushed her to the hospital. They had admitted her the same night. She had x-rays done to ensure there were no bone fractures. A different ortho was on call but he was doing surgery at the time. So he had requested her to be admitted and monitor the swelling. They were concerned if the swelling gets bigger, it might mean she has an infection and will need surgery to drain it as soon possible. At around 1am the ortho came to check on her and said the swelling doesn't look too bad, it might be another injury and treat it as a sprain. Again. They wanted to monitor her further but by next day the swelling went down and she was already jumping about. She also told the nurses she wants to go home. The nurses checked with the ortho and he cleared us to be discharged. No pediatrician was involved. This was on Saturday.

Her rashes came and go. Someday worse than others. We applied lotion. The following Friday (June 29th) she had flu and cough. This time we decided to take her to her pediatrician instead, Dr Altaf. We had intended to get flu and cough medicine. However, once we were in the doctor's office, I poured out everything and all details from the beginning when she had a swollen ankle til present. He immediately does a routine check-up and checked her skin. That's when he said, "I think she might have something called Henoch Schonlein disease". I know my heart just stopped for a moment. I didn't realize she was having a  type of disease. He scribbled the name on a piece of paper. Told us to monitor her urine over the weekend, if her urine turned so dark and there are blood stained urine or in her poo, get her admitted immediately under a pediatrician and they will treat her kidneys. It meant the virus had effected her kidneys. No one know how some gets the disease while other don't but for Mia's case it is highly due to her low blood count (since birth) that had made her more susceptible to infections/viruses. We have to monitor her urine for about a month to ensure she is all cleared from the disease. It is common for the disease to re-cur, but we do not want it to re-cur too often or her kidney wouldn't be able to take it and will be damaged. So the school and us will have to monitor any sudden swellings of her joints.

Last Wednesday Mia had started Beaconhouse. She is adjusting pretty well and had her first school outing to Beryl's Chocolate Factory. More days now I feel she deserves to laugh out loud til our jaws hurt and our tummies aches. Because she deserves more of those days now than ever.

I will try my best to be strong for you, my little one. Although there are days when I too crumble and fall. But  for those little time when I become vulnerable, it was to build courage and made me stronger on most days for you.

For you. And everything in between.

Saw the world turning in my sheets 

and once again I cannot sleep.
Walk out the door and up the street; 

look at the stars beneath my feet.
Remember rights that I did wrong, 

so here I go.

Hello, hello. 

There is no place I cannot go.
My mind is muddy but my heart is heavy. 

Does it show?
I lose the track that loses me, 

so here I go.

And so I sent some men to fight, 

and one came back at dead of night.
Said he'd seen my enemy. 

Said he looked just like me,
So I set out to cut myself and here I go.

I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice.
Give me reason but don't give me choice.
'Cause I'll just make the same mistake again.

And maybe someday we will meet, 

and maybe talk and not just speak.

Don't buy the promises 'cause, 

there are no promises I keep.
And my reflection troubles me, so here I go.

Saw the world turning in my sheets 

and once again I cannot sleep.
Walk out the door and up the street;

 look at the stars.
Look at the stars fall down.
And wonder where did I go wrong.

Dear baby

Above all, I want you to learn that love trumps any other emotions be it anger, hate, frustrations, expectations.

Love, Mommy

Be Kind

Be kind to your children

Be kind to them when they're young

Because you don't only just have children and be responsible for them

You are also their nurturer and emotional supporter

For that will take you far with them

Far beyond lifetime

So be kind to them, be kind to your little ones

Teach them with love, gentle and kindness

Not with pain, anger nor hate

For that will reflect their future

Little by little, as little it takes

Potty Success

Mia had been introduced to potty when we bought one and she was around 2.5 years old but we didn't do anything with it til one day she decided to try it on. I think her friends or teachers or she had been observing her older friends using them so she had been talking about it since. I wasn't sure if she's ready but she was on holidays and I took a week off work so I thought it'd be a perfect time to start.

Yes, I heard people saying to only start when they're ready - not when YOU (parent) wants them to - to avoid frustrations and accidents which will aggravate frustrations and stress. But I was aware she was talking about potty and how big girls pee in them and showed lots of interest on flushing the toilet and toilet papers. So armed with potty books and videos on YouTube, I set to teach her how to use the potty. Needless to say, I failed big time. She had accidents through out the day and well into the third day, I announced to myself that she's just not ready. So we decided to wait it out for few months.

Come New Year I tried again. This time I sat her up on her potty every night after dinner. Sometimes she goes, most times not. After 5 days I decided to call it quits as well.

One day end of March, just one night, while the potty was sitting quietly in her room for a long time, she was nappyless and sat on it. Excitedly she took the inner potty out to me in the living room and announced, "LOOK MOMMY! I SHEE SHEE POTTY!" I peered into the bowl but it was empty so I said so. Then she went back inside her room, and just peed into it. With the same gesture and announcement the first time, she showed it to me and of course I made a huge deal out of it. We took it into the toilet, washed it out and clean her up. The next morning, she did it again before we left for school! We told the school and they'd look her into it and encourage her as well. However, she did had few accidents the few days after and I was about to give up but her teacher said, "once we start, we just go through with it". So I didn't stop.

Today is the 4th day she's been nappy-less even on outings and during naptime. At first, I couldn't trust her without a nappy when we go out - even on the way back from school. And then I realized chances of her peeing in a nappy is far more than when she's not wearing one. So now she tells us when she needs to go. On Monday after school her teachers did not put on a nappy for her so we went to even have dinner (mamak) before heading home. At the mamak, she did look a little jumpy and restless so I asked her if she wants to go. She nodded but once we were in the toilet (it was an old type where you have to squat) she'd refuse to go and told me she did not want to. This happened twice. On our way home, she told us she needs to go and I had told her to just hold on a little. By the time we reached home I was so sure she had wet her undies. Turned out she had been holding it out for so long! Once on her potty, she peed awayy!!

So that's how I figured she's ready and her muscles in her bladder is strong enough to hold urine. Oh but I found out she can nap without a nappy a few days earlier than Monday. It was an accident - I forgot to put a nappy on her and she wasn't feeling well so she had a nap. Woke up dry :)

Some time this week we'll get more panties for her. I'm not sure when she wouldn't need one during bedtime but I don't think it'll be anytime soon. I put her on a nappy before bed last night and this morning it was full! Also, she hasn't mastered pooping in her potty yet. So she still have accidents. But I'm pretty confident she'll get that one pretty soon :)

xx

Updates

So for the past 4 months, a lot has happened. A LOT!

I now have a new colleague at work, May. She's not practicing psychological counselling yet as she is still undergoing her Masters, but hopefully she will be starting soon in September as practicum and under my supervision. I'll also be sieving through her cases and she'll only practice cases that are under my approval to begin with. Hopefully she'll gain more confidence and learns fast (with no doubt) so she'll be able to undertake psychological counselling fully soon. At the moment I've been handing her most of career counselling and she's doing an absolutely brilliant job at it. My big boss has been transferred to Vietnam, they've opened another outlet there and he's managing it. So we're left with my immediate boss whom in my opinion is demotivating, not interested and quite distracted by other things in her life. She's also managing way too many departments for someone who is new and her capability can be questioned. All the time. Unfortunately it is the culture of this institution to put senior employees as priority when promoting, and train them instead of selecting through capability and handwork. Which I truly do not agree nor appreciate neither.

So that's work. At the moment I am working just to fulfill my KPI and nothing else. Which is truly sad. I can no longer say I have sufficient or adequate job satisfaction.

Jan 3rd we were poured with a devastating news. I have secondary infertility, which meant the possibility of another child are slim. Having discussed this with darling hubby, we both came to terms and accepting this. Though that doesn't mean we'll stop trying. Mia is a dream of ours and if by any chance I get pregnant again, that child will be our miracle. It will only strengthen and extend our love to our children more. I am also under hormonal treatment requiring a specialist appointment every month.

We celebrated Papa's birthday at a Japanese buffet dinner joint at Legend Hotel. He enjoyed his salmon very much we were so pleased. In February, Mama, Papa, Adik, Boy and Mak (aunty) went off for Umrah. Our Valentines this year was spent at the specialist hospital for another check up and news. Thankfully he said we shall only return after 2 months. The pills are working but very slowly.

March was when my big boss mentioned his departure. Some time end of March we encountered that unfortunate health issues episode on the previous entry. Mia also had her first outing this month and enjoyed it tremendously. Some time mid March was when she had went into her room, found her potty, took it out and showed it to me, "Look Mommy, Mia shee-shee (pee) potty!" "No, there's nothing in there", she went back into the room, peed, and came out again with the inner pot, "Look Mommy, shee shee potty!" and this time there truly was pee. And a lot! Since then she had few accidents but mostly peed in the potty. We're still working out on poops and have not dared going out of the house without a nappy. Only recently since her recovery from Herpangitis that she doesn't need a nappy for nap time. Her school is also working on it with us which I'm very pleased. Perhaps on March 20th I had inquired more information on Desmond and Penny's (May's bro and SIL) migration to Aust. The following day, armed with a contact person Penny gave, I managed to inquire further.

So April is close to Mia's 3rd birthday. She'll be celebrating it at Kidsports BVII (her favourite place) with friends and families. On 18th her school is having another outing to KL's Bird and Butterfly Park. I've also suggested bringing a cake and some balloons so she can celebrate her birthday with her school friends at the park. Last Saturday, we managed to meet Mr Thena (apparently is Yvonne's husband), a solicitor, and went for an assessment. He suggested we use darling husband as a primary person as his chance is higher (being an engineering graduate and working experience). So today we are ready to send in our first stage of application. Our decision, is about to change our destiny and about to grant my ultimate dream. I have never in my life, had a dream this big about to come true. It is so big and so close that I sometimes find myself awake in the middle of the night, thinking it over - most times, ruffles my emotions to thinking; what if it isn't as great as I'd think it would be. Such a dream. But if it happens, and when it happens, I shoot a note of gratitude and know deep in my heart that I make my life the way I want it to be. However it be.

And that's all there is to updates. Made a small 5 inch belated birthday cake for May. Red Velvet. We'll also be throwing Lara a farewell party as well as celebrating a be-earlied birthday for her. So we'll combine both later. Lara will be off joining her family's business (properties and estates) and this week will be her last week with us. All the best, Lara!

As for us, cross fingers things will work out the way we had hoped and dream it will be.

Mia's First Hospitalization

Before I delve into why I've not written and updated as often as I should, let me just mark the day Mia had been admitted to PMC for a couple of nights for Herpangitis!!

For the whole week of last week both Daddy and I had been off from work to look after the little one. This was how it started, 2 Fridays ago, we rushed her to the Emergency unit because she was coughing and through her phlegm there were fine traces of blood. I freaked out, yelled for Daddy to come have a look and he literally scooped her up and off we go to the hospital. Thank goodness the doc said a blood vessel or a tear might have occurred when she had coughed or sneezed too hard (she was starting to have a bit of cough then). She also sounds a bit "tight" in her chest and had a round of nebulizer. And another round for after dinner. So armed with few meds, off we went to work and sent her to school.

The week passed by and her cough has improved very slightly and for some reason, her appetite had also decreased. Now my little miss eat-a-lot is known for her good appetite so usually if she's having decreased appetite, it usually tells me she's unwell. Come Saturday we took her for her second movie experience - Lorax. Now unlike her first time at the movies - Puss in Boots, where she had sat through the entire movie - this time she had requested to go out of the cinema halfway through. Which was swell since Daddy has started snoring lightly, we don't want to embarrass ourselves when he starts to reaaalllyy snore! She was looking a bit under the weather so to cheer her up, we took her to the Barbie doll shop and she had one fingernail done (free!), picked a toddler-sized umbrella and we went home.

Sunday was one of the weekends I'd have to go to work to help out with some things. Seeing Daddy's down with a slight flu, and Mia looks unwell, I called work to say I won't be able to come. That afternoon I was glad to have made the decision. Darling hubby was down with flu and Mia had a temperature of 38.5C so we went to the Emergency again. This time the doc checked her tonsil and discovered that both her tonsils are red and swollen. It is tonsillitis. She had had tonsillitis before when she was very young. 10 months, maybe. It was horrid. So we went home with another batch of meds.

Monday, I had accompanied both my parents to Gleneagles to deciding what dialysis treatment for Papa. The doc was pleased I turned up at the appointment since both parents are not ready and unable to decide. I had made the decision and Papa had to be admitted straight away. His potassium level is too high and kidneys are also in bad shape. They need to insert a catheter into his abdomen immediately. All these time Mia was at home with Daddy but they came to visit later in the afternoon.

She didn't look so well so we didn't stay long. Tuesday, she still didn't look good. So both of us stayed home from work. Visited Papa in the afternoon when he was about to undergo his surgery. Mia has stopped eating, and speaking altogether.

Wednesday I had to turn up for work for a couple hours then we decided to visit the Emergency again. Previously I had spotted the ulcer on the side of her tongue. So I asked the doc to check it. We had to force her mouth open and that's when the doc saw multiple ulcers and swellings in her mouth. She had refused wearing socks or shoes, claiming "pain". I then recalled the few times she had shown me her hands and scratched them but there were no skin rash. Doc suspects it has something to do with Hands Foot and Mouth Disease but because she doesn't look dehydrated, they're no worried and did not admit her. Later that afternoon, her school manager called. A boy in her class had been admitted to a hospital yesterday for Herpangitis. His symptoms are similar of Mia's. I panicked. I called the unit, spoke to a male, left my number for the doc to call me back. He didn't. This day was also the day we found out my MIL is in ICU. She went into a coma and she's all the way in KB.

Thursday, Daddy decides to go back to KB and checks on his mother. Mia woke up with a bit of bleeding on her top lip. Immediately I carried her and we went to my panel doctor. The GP listened and said to me, "Why did you go to the Emergency? They are young junior doctors, you should have gone straight to the paeds!" I had wanted to smack myself! Paed! Then I remembered, it was a Sunday and her paeds was not open. So since we had started with the Emergency unit, we kept on going back there. I asked for a referral letter to one in PMC and he had gladly made an appointment for us. We met with a very gentle and soft spoken Dr Atikah Ng.

And because she heard my worry and built up stress, she admitted Mia straight away. At this point she was still not eating nor talking. Only sips of water or milk. Daddy couldn't leave his daughter, so he decided not to return. His sister updates him every now and then. Dinner time, she said "I'm hungry" so took a couple spoonfuls of rice porridge and few gulps of soy milk. That night, my cousin and brother came to visit. She was so excited upon seeing them. That night, she had trouble sleeping. Woke up a couple of times and whimpered during her sleep. Restless first night at the hospital. Thank goodness her paed decided she doesn't need a drip line else she'd be even more uncomfortable.

The next day she was recovering so well. She was eating all her meals slowly and painfully. And because she was eating, she doesn't need a drip line. She's let out a small cry when food goes into her mouth, then she'd try eating again. It was such an experience to watch. By Saturday morning MIL had woken up, and Mia can be discharged. Papa was discharged on Friday.

So yeah.
That week was hell for us. But we pulled through and everyone's okay now. Only I now have a terrible cough! Agh! Off to the docs for nebulizer and cough meds! :)

Updates

Somewhere mid November Erik and Jenny came over to visit and stayed with us for 14 days! Jenny was 16 weeks along and we had heaps fun. Photos will be uploaded soon.

There were trips to Cameron Highlands, weddings and various activities the past few weeks. Today my office is being sound-proved. Next year there will be another staff joining and my department has changed from Counselling and Psychological Service Centre to Career and Psychological Counselling Centre. Not that it makes a lot of difference I believe but it's still okay.

Last night Mia was pretending to read one of her Paddington Bear books, "One day.. I farted". I nearly passed out laughing. She's growing everyday, learning and developing new words each day. Soon I believe we'll be having conversations and she'll want to know about everything under the sun.

Always my baby :)

First Movie Date

Today we decided to take out lil tot to the movies for her very first time. I was eye-ing Happy feet 2 since many people said it's hilarious. Then again, we've not watched Happy Feet 1 and the rating is PG13 so seeing it is her first time, I thought maybe not.

We opted for Puss in Boots instead! Now while I would not recommend any tots to be in the cinema until perhaps closer 4 years old, due to the exposure to continuous and prolonged loud sound and lighting, I was rather pleasantly surprised how well our lil tot behaved throughout the whole movie.

Tickets were bought online on Thursday. We had purposely chose the back row of seats. I had wanted the last row near the exit but a family of four had bought the seats earlier. So we went for the second last row near the exit. The show was for 11.25am so after a light breakfast at McDonalds, we entered the cinema early and it was pretty well lit. I think she was very pleased to have her own seat. She startled a little when the lights go off and music from advertisements went on but sat quietly on her seat. It wasn't til people started filling into her front seat that she had squirmed and leaned front because they was partially obstructing her view. So I put her on my lap instead. She was good watching the movie while munching on popcorn, chicken nuggets and water. Because the cinema has a surround sound system, and she's not used to it, she startled few times when the goose had gawked and it seemed the goose was behind her :) Then halfway through the movie, she went onto her Daddy's lap. 15 mins before the movie ended, she stood up in front of her Daddy and started getting interested in other things like the surroundings and people around us. Overall, you were very good, Mia.

The only worry I had was the air conditioning in the cinema. Luckily we brought her wool jacket along and she was wearing pants. But it was freaking cold, still. Next time, a blankie would help.

More movie dates to come! :)

15 years dream

i have a dream

for fifteen years

and it might just come true soon

thank you hubby dearest

for fulfilling it for me

and including you and our baby

making it the best dream

i'll ever be

silent thought

.i am a mother.

.i will always measure my success in life

through how my child thinks i am.

.because i am a mother.

.above anything much else.

A couple days ago I was hit by this song. It is a short song. But to me it was really powerful.

This is the song I used to hum to Mia when she was an infant. I don't know if there was any meaning to it at the time but I was so drawn to this song and loves it to this day. I guess it doesn't have to mean anything. But  you can look at it as us having to enjoy the moment. Hand in hand, riding the bicycles of Belsize. And living it. Because there will come a time we'll miss those times, as the world keeps spinning around. And that is for you, baby.

Turning and turning 
The world goes on. 
We can't change it, my friend. 
Let us go riding all through the days, 
Together to the end, to the end. 

Les bicyclettes de Belsize 
Carry us side by side 
And hand in hand we will ride, 
Over Belsize. 
Turn your magical eyes. 
Round and around, 
Looking at all we found. 
Carry us through the skies, 
Les bicyclettes de Belsize. 

Spinning and spinning, 
The dreams I know, 
Rolling on through my head. 
Let us enjoy them, before they go. 
Come the dawn, they all are dead. 
Yes, they're dead. 

Les bicyclettes de Belsize 
Carry us side by side 
And hand in hand we will ride 
Over Belsize. 
Turn your magical eyes. 
Round and around, 
Lookin' at all we found. 
Carry us through the skies, 
Les bicyclettes de Belsize. 

Love

Dear Baby


I haven't written to you for a while. But these words came from a song. A song I often go back to every once in a while. Because this song relates me to you. They are words meant for you. I am no good with words. I have immense feelings with little words that can describe. So I send these words to you hoping you can somehow understand.

All of these lines across my face

Tells you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true...I was made for you
I climbed across the mountain tops
Swam all across the ocean blue
I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules
But baby I broke them all for you
Because even when I was flat broke
You made me feel like a million bucks
You do
I was made for you
You see the smile that's on my mouth
It's hiding the words that don't come out
And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed
They don't know my head is a mess
No, they don't know who I really am
And they don't know what I've been through like you do
And I was made for you...


You see, baby.. you are the reason. I had understood how this meant when I heard it from other people saying them to another person they care and love so much about. But now I not only understood it, I felt it too. You are the reason.


I had a pretty tough life. I almost did not have a childhood. A true childhood was hidden behind a mass of deception and pretense. But my life goes on. And through it I did "climb the mountain tops", "swam the ocean blue" and "crossed the lines". Even "broke all rules". But no I didn't do it all for you. I didn't know I'd survive long enough to have you. Only as I grew older, I realized that I have to survive this life to have you.


I made a promise to myself that you will not have to go through the hardships of life as I went through. Those hardships define who I am today. Made me stronger, wiser and more articulate than ever. I had lost the one person I love the most. That is myself. Slowly I picked myself up again and had to learn to love my self again. Because that is the biggest gift in this whole universe. Most delicate and most treasured. Until you learn to love yourself, then you will be able to see things clearly and how the universe works. Everything else will just fall into places, and makes sense again.


I may plan for your life to be easy, filled with joy and laughter. But it may not build character and you may resent me for that. So I pray you will get over any hardships you encounter. Because you are strong, just like me. And because you love yourself. Just like I love you.


Love, Mommy.
x

Raya 2011 Prep! (Part Two)

We finally completed our Raya attires and shopping for this year. Yippee!

Now it's packing time and travelling time. There are so much to pack since we'll be hitting the roads (roadtrip this time round) and visiting 2 states within a week. Little Mia will be doing some very long journey by car and this will be her first time in terms of duration. Hence, there is a LOT to prepare and pack!

My mind is running in circles thinking of things we must take with us tomorrow.
1. Baby monitor
2. Mia's portacot
3. Tonnes change of clothes and raya attires
4. Get small change for 'duit raya's (ok this is actually a to do list)
5. Toys for entertainment in the car
6. Tab and all it's cables
7. Camera
8. Snacks and food for Mia
9. Mia's blanket, pillow and sleeping needs
10. My homemade Raya cookies :)

To name a few. I hope nothing gets left behind. Oh yes and I may have to send Koda and my kitchen plants to Bangi for their dear life during our time away.

Yay for Raya! :):)

Raya 2011 Prep!

I have a confession to make.
I CANNOT WAIT FOR RAYA!!

I just can't seem to put a finger on my Raya excitement this year. We have about 8 days left and I'm ecstatic! I guess it may be because we're celebrating in my hubby's hometown this year and oh my god I think the last time we were there was last year! It could well be almost a year since last we visited.

So in my mind is all about baking cookies, cooking Raya favorites, my lil bug playing and socializing with her cousins (whom would be speaking a different dialect and language all together!), fire crackers, spending some quality time with my in laws and just relax having to be so far away from the city bustles.

I am a city girl, I must admit. I don't think I can ever live too far from civilization. But a different environment and change is always good once in a while :) My MIL is the only one living there now with one of my BILs. She must miss us dearly. I wonder what we can get her this year for Raya.

This is also the first year we are celebrating properly. New clothes for all of us (last 2 years we were on 'recycles', except Mia due to poor planning and adjusting) and home baked cookies :) The first year Raya in Msia we were back too short of a notice to tailor make our attires. Last year we were living in the suburbs and was too tiring to prepare much. So this year was just nice for us. I'm planning to bake cookies and bring them over for my in laws. I might enjoy the visit this time round since we will be back for almost a week and not many people will be around before the day arrives so I'll be able to conquer the kitchen tee hee!

Okay so that's maybe the reason why I'm so ecstatic this year. Plus Mia is much older now and knows what's happening around us to actually join in. I hope her cousins will accommodate her lack of language understanding :( You see, our lil bug has been going to school at 16 months. It is a full-on school with music classes, dance classes, sandplay, playground, lunch/snack time, nap time, art classes, writing classes etc etc so she's learning heaps and has a daily routine. It is structured just the way I like a school to be for her age. The downside is that the school is operated on mainly English language. There are Mandarin classes but no so much Malay. So our bug has a very high command of English vocabs with a few Mandarins but close to no Malays. Though I recently heard her pairing English words to Malay words ("ooh..rain!" waits for me to acknowledge then continues "..hujan") So she is learning some Malay words. Hopefully it's enough for her to understand during playtime with her other cousins. On second thought, may be not. Her cousins may be talking in thick Malay dialects *facepalm* Oh well, the older cousins will be okay I guess. Plus, she's only two and they say toddlers adapt well *crossfingers*

Sigh.
Welcome Raya 2011 :)

Frustrations

I am almost 30

I am married

I have a child

I have a family of my own

I'm no longer living with my parents

Yet I still do feel like running away

*sigh*

Goodness Me! And Ramadhan 2011 update!

Yes, goodness me! I haven't been updating this blog for such a long time. So many, many things had happened since. Trip to Singapore and Universal Studios in May, trip to Guangzhou end of June/July, Mines Wellness Hotel free night stay and buffet, 3rd year anniversary, Mia made cinnamon rolls, Malacca Zoo trip for Daddy's day, red velvet cupcakes order, Mia's first asthma attack!, Bi passing away, Papa admittance to Gleneagles, Mommy's raya cookies!

Though there are so many things to document and blog about, the Universal Studios, Singapore and Guangzhou trip will be without pictures. Unfortunately the camera has been 'stolen', according to Abg.

Mia was potty trained rather unsuccessfully this time. She has shown some keen interest to the potty and knows when she has done a poop or wants to 'sheeshee'. She can very well tells us when she needs washing since was one year plus but not necessarily before she does a wee or poo. Guess the training will have to be put off for some time now. Although Mommy and Daddy had excitedly bought 2 types of potties :) Oh but she does use the potty to wash poo or wee so hopefully she'll get the idea soon *crossfingers*

We are exactly halfway through our Ramadhan 2011. Ramadhan this year is extra special. We managed to have iftar almost every night as a family. Our first Ramadhan as a married couple did not turn up as I had expected. I was in the midst of recovering from morning sickness (although my morning sickness wasn't bad actually), I suppose because it was  my first time. And some food being sauteed from the kitchen just makes my stomach churn so bad. Then come second Ramadhan, darling hubby was not around to celebrate - out stationed. Last year was worse. He left 2 days before Ramadhan and was away for more than 2 weeks! Half of the holy month was without him and I had to stay in Bangi with my parents. This year is definitely special. We had iftar together, cook together and hit the food bazaar together. Best of all, we have our lil toddler with us every time. Bliss :)

Tonight I'm making "paceri terung" (brinjal curry) as per requested by my darling hubby for iftar and maybe we'll buy some delicacies at the food bazaar. Among our favourites every time during Ramadhan is "murtabak", "roti jala", "roti john", "ayam percik", "popia basah". I see these or any one of these at our table almost every night for iftar. Now married with a kid, I still see these at the table. Though not as often, but the smell gets to me every time :) Love it!

We had received some very exciting news yesterday. Hopefully we can manage well and prepare as best we can for our future. And I also see this as a small token to celebrating this festive season a little more extra than we had before. Alhamdulillah..

This Eid will also be special as it will be our second time celebrating in KB. Our first celebration was not too much of a celebration since darling hubby had very little leave time hence we were only able to celebrate on a short notice. We had also just returned from Australia. We are lucky this year hubby gets many days off and so do I (hopefully! It hasn't been approved yet!). If everything goes well, we may be celebrating few days of Ramadhan there as well. I'm ecstatic that I'll be able to cook for Eid and spending time with my in laws properly this time round :) And now that Mia's a lot bigger, she'll be able to run around and experience her Daddy's hometown much better than before.

Speaking of Mia, she has not been too well lately. Lots of phlegm equals to heavy wheezing and vomiting. Her paed said by the end of this week she should be all better. Last week she had to use nebulizers to clear her lungs and airways out. She also had infections on her left lung. She's doing much better today, in fact she's already in school :)

Papa was also admitted earlier Ramadhan for his createnine levels running too high. He looked yellow on the day of admission. He has been discharged since and is looking way better now. Mama's cousin, Bi (Ma's brother) passed away a little before Ramadhan hits. He had been unwell and in and out hospital few times. No one thought he wouldn't survive this time round but he succumbed to his illness this time. May he rest in peace with his other siblings, parents and one son who left us way earlier than him. Amin.

Paci Story update

Last night - night three - lil Mia went to bed but walked out of her room again once we left even before we managed to switch them off. I highly suspected it was because of the lights. So I brought her back into her room again and she asked for her paci. I denied the request and switched off the lights this time with her still standing beside her bed. And closed the door. There were a few babbles from the baby monitor but soon enough it's quiet.

This morning she woke up a little before 7am. She was talking and singing on her bed for a good 15 mins or so just enough time before her Daddy goes in and greets her morning. Well done, lil Mia. We're very proud of you :)

I had forgotten to include. The night before, we heard so much babbles and singing before she fell asleep. She's still finding her way to fall asleep. This is making so much progress better than I had thought it would be. And this morning as we walked to the car, I gave her a long look and she seemed a lot bigger now. No longer a toddler but a kid. A little kid. She looks a lot bigger now :)