I find myself looking back at pictures, blog entries and memories of the past. There a some too scary and hard to revisit, but I did anyway. And many that are nice and sweet. I love every bit of them. Those bittersweet memories.
Something very exciting came into my Inbox this morning. With my heart pounding so strongly in me, I explored every aspect of it. And I started dreaming again. Those dreams that were once "put-on-hold" is slowly coming back to life again. I could feel the fire. But not able to reach it yet. There is only one thing that is holding back. And I hope to resolve it as much as I can.
With that exciting news, also bolted me back to my old past. I miss my old past. Certainly. It all once looked so.... right. In place. Perfect. Til reality hits in. And I'm back to square one.
On a different note, when I was younger, looking at people working in offices and in their suits, I had always wondered what kind of job I'd be in. Will I be yelled at by my boss, while working in those open spaced, cubicles? Gossiping with my colleagues through those cubicles? And perhaps, somewhere, sometime late in life, be promoted and have a huge office with a great view by the window.
Today. I am in my own office. A big, comfortable leather chair, a desk that could fit a couple of desktops or laptops AND a working space, 2 armchairs and 1 normal chair to accomodate my clients/patients. I've a good boss (hot, too!) and I work within my own means - a one womanshow. I wear a coat everyday to my office. I'm not that far from looking like that successful careerwoman I had once imagined in my dreams when I was younger. I am not rich, but I got to where I want to be. Here I am. Little did I know that extra experience and degree I hold skipped my steps into a an office room of my own and landed me a professional career.
Alhamdulillah. Thank God for what I have.
My own little nuclear family whom I love and loves me the same.
Although little Mia can probably argue she likes her cat a slightly better.
In future I just hope to be in the same position I am in today. Nothing more or less. I don't dream big and one not much of a goal setter. Food on the table every meal, bills paid, kids taken care off, and I'm one lucky lady, mommy and wife =)
My Past, Present and Future
Aug 15th, 2009
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