5th Anniversary

We spent the day at his all-time-most-favourite place. The beach.

We walked along the beachside. Talked about 'the' future, our future, the past and the present. We watched the sunset and had mexican food at Gringos.

Adil and Haz tagged along, had coffee with us then joined us at Bracegirdle's for its famous chocolates. Then they left for home after lunch while we walked and waited for sunset.

It was all worthwhile.

Our Treasure

Our new baby's here!

A Spanish Guitarras Almansa classical guitar.

Alas the long awaited instrument has made its way into our arms.

Haz's BBQ bday party tonight.

We had cupcakes (made by Haz), pasta, barbeque chicken and sausages. I helped by making the blackforest cheesecake, mashed potatoes and gravy. Then we all went upstairs where she opened her presents.

It was lovely.

Noela

Everyone Renae and I came across with warned about the live session with Noela. We were warned to be prepared of nasty remarks as she can be 'bitchy' (personally never worked with a nasty supervisor, especially one under my line of study). After tonight's session, I felt allright. She wasn't that bad (or perhaps I had expected worst). Honestly, I've liked her since we first met and after the session, I still like her the same. She was direct, honest, blunt and made one of our collegue cry but nevertheless at some stage of our development, this is just what we need. At least that's what I think. We've been going around too much by the book with numerous models and countless approaches, trying to fit in those into our sessions that we sometimes forget about connecting the head to the heart. When that's what we're there for. And that's what this is all about, really.

Being vulnerable to our patients and to ourselves.
Like she once said, "it's a miracle and grace what patients bring behind your door, carrying their story, because you'll never know what or how it'll affect you".

Out of the box

Finally today we went Marion. He didn't feel like going to work today so I woke up early, made breakfast then off we go! There was an accident in front of the Village. Taxi and a car. Pretty smashed up, I'd say. Couldn't see the taxi driver anywhere. Maybe the ambulance took him already. There were polices and fire brigade.

On our way there we passed the breath-taking beach side and those ever so pretty houses along the way. Nope, I don't mind at all living here. Nice.

We each bought a top and bottom, then walked around looking for Haz's bday present. There were 2 halal outlets with their certificate and all so we decided to try both.

But I'm still not finished shopping!

*hugs*

I've picked 6 tomatoes and there's 8 left waiting to ripen.

Good day yesterday. Energized.
Did a task that had been delayed for a long while. Went looking for some things of mine but didn't buy any. Then went around to look for his .. I would not want to jinx it by writing it down here. Just in case we wouldn't be able to get it in the end. It's filling me with excitement to know we're finally getting one.

We tried this Korean restaurant over the weekend. It was allright. I thought it would not have been worth it but Haz pointed out that seafood aren't cheap so if we'd eaten a fair amount, it would have been worth a lot. Say, my tummy was stuffed that nite. I guess it was allright. Something different from the usual italian, western, middle eastern and malay food.

- Been getting lots hugs. Lots. Thank God each day for letting me have this. Especially at times like these. And thank you B. -

Teaching Love

..love doesn't measure intelligence to get hurt by it..

they called. she sms. both sounding or maybe trying to sound happy. it's all an act, isn't it. or perhaps a way telling me not to worry.

and so i play along as i always do. wanting to see where this all ends to.
as it always does, it just proves that the world is a performing stage. we all wear masks and play our role while changing our masks to suit varying situations. and we are acting in our role with our mask to an audience that would approve and follows our norm.

because the truth hurts, eh?
and we are all actors. some better than others. consciously or unconsciously.

it does not heal inside. certainly, not.
let's seek what does. let's run away again.

Rain?

It rains today.
Been a while since the last. A pretty long while.
And its a good rain. Washes off the dusts away.

Brie quiche

Am feeling much much better today. Made 2 meals. Tuna with brie quiche and a creamy tuna pasta. The quiche can and will be packed for his lunch tomorrow whereas the pasta shall be eaten for dinner tonight and leftovers for my lunch tomorrow.

We went for a walk tonight as I was feeling like it and he has to get a good bulb for the bathroom. Coles was still open and I had cravings for bread. Got myself a bagel pack and some cream cheese. Yummy! The night's still early so we went to Gouger st again and got ourselves Cibo coffees. While walking around, the place wasn't so crowded and wild as it was on weekends so we browsed through some of the restaurants there and he got the idea of a vietnamese or an argentinan restaurant for our anniv celebration. Our 5 yr anniv.

Heck, 5 yrs already??

2 months..

Our second E anniv I tried my hands on apple tarts.

Better

Things have turned out okay. At least that's what people at home are saying.

Honestly, I don't believe so.

i am angry
just purely angry at her
for letting this happen

she still doesn't want to seek help
she doesn't care so i don't care
i've not cared for a long time now

so why does it hurt so much..

Clearing mind

Went to the market as usual. He took me out last night. We went to meet Uncle Syed (Aunty Sharifah's hubby, whom is here for the police and fire games) to get my things given by Mama and also to have a bit of chat. Given the situation and position how things are right now, I'm not sure I'm in the position for a bit of a chat. But with him, I went anyway.

Then he decided to make a turn to Gouger st., so we walked around the crowded street full with people of all ages either out clubbing, hang out or simply hanging out sociallizing. We ended at Cibo for coffee and stopped for a lamb yiros. Mama called once for an update. Met Joana and Jade along the way, they're on their way to Joana's boyfriend bday bash.

Returning home, we hung out downstairs so Adil n Haz came down and joined us.

Honestly, I would not know how I'd go through this without him.

So today we went market as usual and prepare ourselves with "linner" (lunch and dinner, as he calls it). Later tonight I called Kak long and Makcha for support. They were lovely.

Expected

It has happen. And perhaps will be happening as feared.

Plants updates

So basically I woke up this morning as usual, freshen up and went upstairs to check on my plants. Oh btw, I've decided to take absolute responsibility on Haz's plants as well (Greek oregano, Pink rosemary, coriander and thyme). After seeing her coriander turned limp and dry the other day, I told her and Adil that I can take care of them. It's just a pity to see such good herbs lay dry and unhealthy next to my swaying-leaves chilli plant and colourful tomatoes and shiny basil. Ok I am boasting but I don't care because they are in good condition! Plus, they are my first gardening plant (besides the one football-sized wild watermelon that grew in my front yard when I was 10 and after picking it, the gardener accidently mowed everything off) so I've every right to be excited over my chillies, tomatoes and basil.

Ok back to my story. I think her oregano would be at least 55% dead I'd say. I watered them hoping they will start blooming again but nothing happened. So this morning I've decided to throw away the dried leaves at the bottom of the plant (I know you must be thinking, hell, you can still use the dried herbs but I wasn't looking to using them, I want to grow them and besides, we've got heaps of dried oregano from the shops still in our pantry) and start fresh. I'm to water the coriander daily, there are some leaves turned dry and fall off due to the limp the other day but that's okay because most of them are saved and are growing beautifully.

So one of my 11 tomatoes now has turned yellow-ish red!! But the bad news is that one of the bloomed flowers on the chilli plant has died and fell off this morning. There were 3 flowers blooming the other day and all three has died and supposedly bear chillies but one of them fell off this morning. That's just sad.

I'm going to checkout what tips and trade I can get on the plants and update again soon!

Long Weekend

Haven't been blogging for a bit.

Finally get to go to the pancake house! Last Friday night we decided to give the little pancake house a visit. It is one of the very very VERY few 24 hours hang-out place here but he didn't seem to like it. Not the food, but the atmosphere. And to think of him as an anti-social, I got to take back that title from him. So we went for a walk around the city and got ourselves into the Fringe area. That place was roaring with people, booz and food. We've decided where to celebrate our annivesary.

It was a public holiday on Monday and because everywhere will be closed then, we went out Sunday to get his head shaver and again ended ourselves in Woolies. They were having sale like mad.

Made apple crumble over the long weekend. It was absolutely scrumptious!
p/s: hope Meen gets stronger and better everyday.

I've decided to water my plants daily now. It's getting hotter and hotter.

Returned Deed

More like 'rejected', I'd say.

Made another attempt at donating blood again. Haemoglobin count was still too low. And all I get; a bruised arm and a sore fingertip. Very very disappointing. Maybe I'll give the GP a visit once the results comes through. But, the good side of it, I got 2 Cascade Ultra-C Blackcurrant juice, crackers and cheese with a warm muffin. And I got him to donate as well which he'd manage to complete the session in 10 mins and successfully made himself dizzy. The freaky thing today was when the nurse poked my arm and nothing came through! As usual, all my veins just hid themselves but we managed to find a very thin one which she poked and had to adjust the needle back and forth before my blood gushes not only through the tube but everywhere on the table. Yep, she certainly did made a mess.

Finally I've found the secret to yummy-licious black pepper roast chicken! I tried this creamy sauce with vegetables found in one of the Recipe mag I've been buying religiously and it turned out allright but a bit bland. Will try again some other time. And I realized that I hate people cooking in the kitchen when I'm cooking. Absolutely hate it. I'd rather stop cooking and let the person finish his/her cooking before continuing with mine. Don't get my wrong, I do like people socializing and communicating or helping in the kitchen but not when they're cooking. Especially when we're both cooking different meals. So "cooking together" is not my friendly group activity. But let's put washing dishes as an exception =)

Ready, Steady, Cook today taught me that kumara is not a fruit. It's sweet potato! Geez Miza, you're such a disappointment.

A chat with Kak Ida brought me back to those years where I've no idea how to boil water! Finally I got to inform her of our 'status' and she sighed wondering if I am already capable of making coffee! Kak Ida, chatting with you never fails to make me laugh. Her husband named their second baby as well as the first.

Oh and update on my plants. Basil are producing more and more leaves happily since last I picked them. There are 10 cherry tomatoes now and one chilli on it's way! I know I ought to take pictures of 'em.

Weekend

Made Shepherds Pie. It needs improvement definitely. I'll learn how to make the gravy.

Our groceries reached below expectancy so that works fine. The chilli plant has grown more buds and the first flower has died so it'll produce chillies, i hope. Basil leaves are growing marvellously and I'm bearing 8 fruits (with one shyly showing on its way) of cherry tomatoes.

Adrian and Sharm's back in uni today. Delighted to see them again.
Sessions have started for CPIA and the first one was this morning. Heck, I didn't get my recording charged so we managed to only get a half hour session. Getting my groove on with patients/clients is steadily coming back to me. Didn't even realize it was slowly slipping away. So much for observations and years of studying books of techniques. Suppose it is more of a skill. Like riding a bicycle again. RC today made me realize how much I enjoyed doing Grief last sem. Oh no.. I think it was CPIA night. It made me start writing again. Not that I wasn't, but more in depth this time.

We bought a lounge bean bag yesterday.

Just a second..

Postmodernism

There's no meaning in the world. Humans put meanings/patterns to the world.
The world is unknowable. There's no reality or truth to find and because we can't authenticate it, we can't find the truth. If the world has no meaning, then your intrepretation is as valid as my interpretation. If the world has no meaning, then your truth is as valid as my truth.. so, there's no truth/reality for us to find.

Spaces

It's a miracle who walks into the room with what they have.
It's a grace, to me.
because perhaps it could be.. something for me to work on, my life.

*clients are perhaps working a lot in the spaces. A lot happens in those spaces. They work in those batches of space*

Fruits of my labour..

Last Friday Haz rented a car to move out her things from her old hse to the new one. We hitched a ride to .. and bought some kitchen wares, rug, and some other bedroom decorative items while they all did the same. On our way back, Haz suggested stopping by Bunnings and get some kitchen herbs to grow ourselves. She and Adil bought a variety range of herbs while we bought chilli, basil and cherry tomatoes (my essentials). The first flower on my chilli plant has emerged and bloomed. Today there were more small little pods coming out from it. Soon I am hoping to start seeing the fruit! But my tomatoes (which have started popping approximately 4-5 of them when we bought it) doesn't seem to be growing much. It's still green! He said it's too early to say anything about them. Oh well..!

The good news is.. we had pasta for dinner tonight with a sauce I got from Recipe and used basil from our own kitchen garden. It was absolutely delicious! The leaves were so fresh it left its fragrant on my fingers for hours.

Class tonight.